Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some individuals belief that music is a essential way to attract more people of other cultures to bring them together. I agree with this because, music plays a important role in stress releasing and gathering people thoughts and cultures to intreact with each other. Aditionally, it is crucial for team bonding and relationships where people enjoys while listening to music and expressing their emotions with others to reduce depression.
On the one hand, music plays a effective role in brining people from different regions together and having a sense of interaction and conversation. It is mainly because, people are not comfortable to express their feeling to other. Negative enivronment also effect their emotions to tackle with these situations they hide their expression and feel calm and less stressed. Afterward, people interact with each other and had a little bit conversation to reduce stress and by talking with each other can also reduce anxiety. For instance, now a days people are listening Sindhu mosa wala song to reduce their depression and many concerts are helding in India to bring different cultures people together.
On the other hand, if individuals are not listening to a music and paying attention toward their jobs and studies these people could faces variety of issues like stress, anxiety and burden of work load. So if these people want to reduce tensions from their lives its essential for them to have a interaction with others during music festivals.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with is because music is a good way to interact with other people and their cultures. Music plays a vital role in individuals lives to enhance and maintain relationship and have a good team bond with each other.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position in favor of music as a tool for cultural and generational unity. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention stress relief and team bonding, the connection to 'different cultures and ages' is not fully explored or supported with strong, logical arguments. The example provided regarding a specific singer is relevant but lacks sufficient explanation to demonstrate how it bridges cultural or age gaps. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the prompt and provides a more detailed explanation of how music specifically facilitates interaction between diverse groups.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced or slightly inaccurate, such as 'Afterward' used to start a sentence about social interaction. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the progression of your argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. You use basic terms like 'good way' and 'important role' multiple times. There are also several instances of incorrect word choice or collocation, such as 'belief' instead of 'believe', 'attract more people of other cultures' (which is slightly awkward), and 'helding' instead of 'held'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items and more precise collocations, while ensuring that your word forms are accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('people enjoys', 'these people could faces'), article usage, and tense consistency ('people are not comfortable to express their feeling', 'had a little bit conversation'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically verb forms and pluralization, to ensure your writing is more polished and professional.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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