Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is believed that music is best measure to keep communities of different cultural civilisation close together. From my point of view . i agree to some extent that music is beneficial for an individual. Music in general a therapy for calm and relax mind.
As we are living in this digital age full of music and songs from different cultures and personalities. Firstly, the choice of music plays an authentic role in this criteria. Music is not just about words, in reality it is the healing of a thought. Songs and poetry are actually the lyrical stories from the ancient to the modern age. for instance the old cultural songs are the historical stories of different nations and ages. These songs and lyrics are the backbone of an history of a specific country.
On the other hand Music is not just an ultimate power to keep communities together. As in this modern age no one is eager to listen the older versions of music. I firmly advocate the notion that people are much more interested in the fossils, dead remains of heritages and historical background such as language rather than music for interaction closeness. The researches and cultural innovations is fostering an important role in building the new traditions and communities to cultures close and committed.
It is imperative to the conclusion that ,i agree to both sides of my opinions. Music is essential for cultural therapy and relationships among people from different histories, but what is more valuable is not only the lyrical poetry or words it is their historical background, traditional calendars and language which bring individuals close as a nation and developed community.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of music in bringing people together. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you acknowledge the prompt, your argument becomes somewhat confused in the second body paragraph, where you shift focus to 'fossils' and 'dead remains of heritages,' which is only tangentially related to the topic of music. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and logical consistency. To improve, ensure that every point made directly supports the central thesis regarding music's ability to connect people across cultures and ages.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is often weak. Transitions are sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'It is imperative to the conclusion that,' which is not a standard cohesive phrase. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between music and the mentioned 'fossils' is not explicitly explained. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'Firstly' and 'On the other hand,' the overall flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and disjointed sentences, which hinders the reader's ability to follow your argument smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary range is limited and often imprecise. You use some relevant terms like 'cultural civilisation' and 'historical background,' but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'best measure to keep communities... close together' (should be 'best way to bring communities together') and 'healing of a thought.' Some phrases are unnatural, such as 'fostering an important role in building the new traditions.' To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive or vague language. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary will also help convey your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('the backbone of an history'), incorrect verb forms ('Music in general a therapy'), and punctuation errors, such as the placement of periods and commas (e.g., 'From my point of view . i agree'). Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic sentence construction and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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