Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is argued that music helps to get together all ethnic groups and age category's people. This essay agrees that suggestion completely because it can make people' thought to keep peace and unity and creates chance to exchange their culture knowledge.
A patriotic songs can lead to unity in diversity, so that people stays peacefully in diverse society with harmony. A good music develops emotions to help each other in complex situation. It also motivates to individuals to gather together for their mutual needs. For example, during civil war many revolutionary songs was written and sung which was effective to motivate soldiers who was belong to different cast and age.
We can know about the tradition and culture of different ethnic tribes by songs because songs reflect the culture of specific ethnic group. Different casts have their own style songs and people get to know about other casts' tradition. For instance, many Bollywood songs are played in many Nepali occasions which is favorable for keep strong relationship.
In conclusion, listening music have vital role in keep society united among many kinds of distinctive communities and age class because music is impactful for keep people united in diverse community and learn about other persons' culture and tradition
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 206 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas, as the arguments remain superficial and lack sufficient depth or illustrative detail. While the essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, the under-length nature of the response prevents a full exploration of the topic. To improve, you must expand on your points with more detailed explanations and varied examples. The current ideas, such as the mention of civil war or Bollywood music, are relevant but are not developed enough to fully support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'It is argued that' and 'In conclusion' are used, but the transitions between sentences within paragraphs are sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between ideas could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main thesis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'age category's people' instead of 'people of different age groups' and 'exchange their culture knowledge' instead of 'exchange cultural knowledge'. Additionally, there is some repetition of basic vocabulary like 'music' and 'people'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations, and pay closer attention to word forms and pluralization.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('songs was written', 'soldiers who was belong'), incorrect pluralization ('category's'), and missing articles ('listening music'). While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, these are often marred by errors, such as 'people stays peacefully' or 'it also motivates to individuals'. The range of structures is limited, and the persistent errors in basic grammar prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.