Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
I strongly agree with this view that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.
This essay will discuss one views, and I believe that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.
In recent years, listening music has become a widely debated issue. While some people believe that music connects different ages and culture together.
The main reason it connects peoples is that when we are sad and we hear sad music and we thought that this music is made for me, so we release tension, stress and we feel good.
Music can also connect culture of peoples all together for example there is a traditional dance of pastoon name Atan so every pastoon involved in his dance, because music and dress attract different ages and cultures of peoples together.
Another important point is that dress, language also attract peoples together for example the traditional dress of punjabi is shalwar kameez so every punbaji wear shalwar kameez In other words,language alos attrack peoples together. A good example of this is when we are in our classroom so same culture of peoples are more attracted with same culture. As a result, it can show style, language and dress.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that music is an effective way of bringing people from different cultures and age groups together. It provides a common form of entertainment that can be enjoyed regardless of a person’s background, while also helping people understand and appreciate different traditions and lifestyles. Therefore, music can play an important role in creating stronger social connections and reducing cultural differences.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt by agreeing that music brings people together. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the first body paragraph attempts to explain the emotional connection of music, the second body paragraph shifts focus to dress and language, which is largely irrelevant to the prompt about music. The argument lacks depth, and the connection between the examples provided (such as 'shalwar kameez') and the topic of music is not clearly established. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports the central thesis regarding music's role in social cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between the idea of music and the discussion of traditional dress is abrupt and confusing. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In conclusion' and 'Another important point', but they are sometimes used mechanically or inappropriately, such as using 'In other words' to introduce a completely new topic (language). The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'attract peoples together' and 'same culture of peoples' are used multiple times, indicating a lack of lexical variety. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'listening music' (should be 'listening to music') and 'pastoon' (likely referring to Pashtun). The range is sufficient to convey basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentences, but grammatical errors are frequent. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('language alos attrack'), incorrect verb forms ('we thought that this music is made'), and punctuation errors. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence structures prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to articles, pluralization, and verb tense consistency is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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