Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Music is a good approach to make people come closer to each other. Many individuals say that music is effective approach to bring people of diverse cultures and ages together. I strongly agree and in this essay I will support my opinion.
On the one hand, I strongly believe that music has different categories which represents cultures and tradition as well. Every country has its own taste of music which gives hint that it came from that country. And the music is also key element to bring people together. For instance, there are many individuals of Pakistan who listen songs of different countries of diverse cultures. They even appreciate and follow the foreign singers as well. Similarly, some Pakistani singers go to India to sing their film songs, as their citizens love to hear them too. Moreover, there's a show called "Coke Studio", in this show they organize and bring people of different culture in one show where they represent their cultural songs and styles. By this show, different songs introduce to those people which eventually make them closer to each other.
On the other hand, some people believe there are other arts which can be effective approaches to bring people closer not only music. Many people do not often listen to song, but they are much fond of other arts as well. For instance, painting is also a great art to represent cultures and it has a visual prespective as well.
In conclusion, the individual of different cultures and elders become closer by the help of music. I strongly believe that the music is good way to make people closer, but not only music there are other art available as well to represent cultures.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position and providing relevant examples, such as 'Coke Studio'. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the first body paragraph is well-supported, the second body paragraph introduces a counter-argument that is not fully integrated into the main argument regarding music. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the points made. To reach a higher band, ensure that every paragraph directly contributes to supporting your central thesis and avoid introducing new, less relevant ideas like painting in the final stages of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'For instance' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'And the music is also key element' or 'By this show, different songs introduce to those people'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would enhance the flow and coherence of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'diverse cultures', 'appreciate', and 'represent'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'approach to make people come closer' (instead of 'way to bring people together') and 'visual prespective' (spelling error). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Focusing on collocations and more academic synonyms for common verbs will help improve your lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the music is also key element'), subject-verb agreement ('the individual of different cultures... become closer'), and passive voice construction ('different songs introduce to those people'). These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication. To improve, pay closer attention to pluralization and the correct use of articles, and try to incorporate more complex sentence forms with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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