Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries some citizens think that to represent cultures music is beneficial but others say that it is not good thing.

In my opinion there are many other ways to express culture and traditions. In Pakistan many methods are used to describe way of living and how to talk with each other and also express their clothing sense. Every year a special day named as culture day is widely celebrated to describe Pakistani culture and traditions. In whole world Pakistani hospitality is praised which is one of best part of Pakistani culture. It is basic part of tradition of our country to give warm welcome to our guests and make them feel comfortable. Due to great hospitality shown by

Pakistani locals, the number of international tourists visiting Pakistan is greatly boosting. Other best attracting thing for tourists from whole world is richness of Pakistani culture.

Talking about thought of such individuals who describe music as better source for bringing people of different cultures and ages together. My view on this matter is that music is not only source for this purpose. There are many other means for bringing people from diverse cultures together such as hospitality, tourism, cultural education, and batter understanding of someone's thought.

In conclusion, music is also a source for bringing people of different cultures and ages together but it is not only mean. There are many other ways such as tourism and cultural education. These are the sources which can serve as a better mean rather than music for achieving this aim.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth in its analysis. While you acknowledge that music can bring people together, you focus primarily on Pakistani culture and hospitality as alternative methods. The argument is somewhat repetitive and does not fully explore the 'why' or 'how' music functions as a social bridge, which is the core of the prompt. To improve, ensure that you directly engage with the premise of the question before introducing your own examples. The position is clear, but the development of ideas is limited, leading to a somewhat superficial treatment of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is often disjointed. Transitions between the introduction, the body paragraphs, and the conclusion are mechanical (e.g., 'Talking about thought of such individuals'). The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, which makes the flow of the argument feel slightly fragmented. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main thesis statement.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There is a reliance on basic vocabulary, and some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'batter understanding' (better) and 'not only mean' (means). The repetition of phrases like 'bringing people of different cultures and ages together' suggests a limited range of synonyms. To improve, focus on learning collocations and more sophisticated vocabulary related to social interaction and cultural exchange.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('In whole world'), incorrect word forms ('best attracting thing'), and awkward phrasing ('some citizens think that to represent cultures music is beneficial'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. Focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence construction to improve your control over English grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.