Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In an digital world, Listening music has become crutial part of our lifes. In this regards, It is argued by some people that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with this opinion that music is a good way of bringing people because it makes feel relexed, understanding different cultures.
Firstly, Music is good way of bringing people because now a days music has become most important part of our daily events, funtions, weddings, birthday ceremony, where everyone enjoy listening a music. In other words when you arrange get together events food is compulsory but music also very necessary things of bringing people. For example, it is commenly observed that in weeding events differents culture wise people together also everyone has own custom and rules according to their culture but when a time of bringing people music is a good way.
Secondly, In different ages people spend more time to listening a music because it makes feel relexed whenever you bored. moreover ages does not matter in everywhere. In other words, when people opened a new shop, listen a good news in every type relevent to own, or their family, the first thing they do feel relexed, happy, excited, and then they organaized a event where bringing people of differents ages, cultures together and spend time to listen a music and have lunched. For example, it is commenly observed that in my country pakitsan people got a good news they have enjoy music in big speaker.
In conculision, it can be summarized that music is a good way of bringing people because it makes feel relexed, understanding different cultures. Most of the peoples who were old age enjoy soft and light music. and other young people enjoy romantic and culture wise music.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by agreeing that music brings people together. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. While you mention weddings and social events as examples, the explanation of how music specifically bridges cultural or age gaps remains superficial. The argument lacks depth, and the conclusion simply restates the introduction without adding new insight. To improve, you should focus on explaining the 'how' and 'why' behind your points, such as discussing how music acts as a universal language that transcends linguistic barriers, rather than just listing social occasions where music is played.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'In other words' are used incorrectly to introduce new points rather than rephrasing previous ones. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between opening a shop and bringing people together is confusing. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of your arguments.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate basic ideas but is quite limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'crutial' (crucial), 'lifes' (lives), 'relexed' (relaxed), and 'weeding' (wedding). You rely on a narrow range of words, often repeating 'bringing people' and 'relexed' throughout the text. To reach a higher band, you should work on using more precise vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'social cohesion,' 'cultural exchange,' or 'universal appeal,' and ensure that you are using words in their correct form and context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'listening a music'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'In other words when you arrange get together events food is compulsory but music also very necessary things of bringing people.' While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect pluralization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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