Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Few indivesuals argue that music is a relaible method to bring together people of different ages and cultures, I totally agree with this view, With music people celebrate thier national events and sports altogether irrespective of their cultures and ages.
The national songs made for country automatically bring a sence of patriotism in people, furthermore by sharing same music it bring people to vibe and enjoy at the same time. National music play a huge in celebration of national events like independence day. For intance, my country very popular song ' dil dil pakistan' and we used to here it on every indivesual mouth on 14th august, with this manner they shows thier love for the country.
Furthermore, music play an important role in national sports level, when we share same music, then people from every different culture, province and age enjoy it irrespectively. For example, in our national stadiums we see people vibing on same song from different regions and arease supporting and motivating their players.
In conclusion, music play an important rule in bringing people together from variety of backgrounds, irresepective of their ages and and culture. i strongly agree with this view, furthermore music play a rule of attraction in national events celebration range from independence day to national sports events at national and international levels.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position, but it fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the main points regarding national events and sports are relevant, they are under-developed and repetitive. The arguments lack depth, and the conclusion merely restates the introduction without adding new insight. To improve, you must expand your supporting examples and provide more detailed explanations to reach the required length and demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'furthermore' and 'for example'. Some sentences lack logical flow, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between national songs and the specific example of 'Dil Dil Pakistan' feels abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help improve the overall flow and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'indivesuals' (individuals), 'relaible' (reliable), 'thier' (their), and 'arease' (areas). Additionally, word choice is sometimes imprecise, such as 'vibe' which is too informal for an academic essay, and 'rule' used instead of 'role'. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary, ensuring correct spelling, and avoiding informal or colloquial language in your academic writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'music play a huge' instead of 'plays a huge role') and punctuation errors, such as comma splices in the introduction. The misuse of articles and pluralization is also noticeable throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tense usage would be highly beneficial.
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