Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I think it’s valuable, because the music is the thing which may promotise the culture of different people these cultures are may promoted by the music. Music is the good way to bring people of different culture and ages together. In my point of view music describe the whole culture which become more helpfull to other people to understand others culture and way of living rather than understanding by living in them. Music bring many things to other people if we are trying to find the things which are related to others culture these type of music shown the whole culture of the other people and as it is the music soo this may attract the people and people may enjoy it well and become to learn about the others cultures. As i’m the citizen of Pakistan there is different type of peoples are living, They have different cast different religion and different way of living their life as they have different religion for example: i’m urdu speaking person their are persons who speak pashto they have their own type of songs and things. Pashto song describe their culture as well. These songs have their own aura as they have different type of songs and dance culture they talk in different language it can’t be understandable by all the people. This language is understand by the people who learn that language. I experienced it well, because in my country people speak different languages sometimes their songs define us there culture and ages as well

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt regarding whether music brings people of different cultures and ages together, presenting a clear position that music is valuable in promoting cultures. The writer attempts to support this with a personal example from Pakistan, noting differences in language, castes, and songs such as Pashto music. However, the ideas are repetitive and underdeveloped, with circular reasoning like 'music describe the whole culture which become more helpfull to other people to understand others culture'. The argument regarding age is mentioned at the very end ('define us there culture and ages as well') but is never actually developed or explained. Consequently, while all parts of the prompt are touched upon, the lack of thorough development places this in the Band 5 category.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text suffers from a lack of proper paragraphing, presented entirely as a single continuous block of text. There is no clear overall progression or logical structure, as ideas tend to loop back on themselves rather than moving forward smoothly. Cohesive devices are either missing, repetitive, or inaccurate, with excessive reliance on conjunctions like 'and', 'because', and 'as'. Pronoun referencing is frequently unclear, such as in phrases like 'these type of music shown the whole culture of the other people and as it is the music soo this may attract the people', making it difficult to follow the logical connections between sentences. These issues reflect the characteristics of Band 4 organisation and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently circling back to words like 'culture', 'music', 'people', and 'different'. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'promotise' instead of 'promote', 'helpfull' with a spelling error, and awkward word choices like 'dance culture'. Less common lexical items are attempted but used inaccurately, for instance, 'aura' or 'citizen of Pakistan' where contextually simpler or more precise terms would fit. Although the meaning can generally be deciphered, the limited range and frequent inaccuracies constrain the communication, aligning closely with Band 5 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, heavily relying on simple sentences or run-on compound sentences linked by basic conjunctions. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to severe structural issues and non-standard punctuation (such as lowercase 'i' throughout). Examples of persistent grammatical errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('the music is the thing which may promotise', 'these cultures are may promoted') and awkward prepositional usage. Frequent errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and distort meaning in places, which matches the criteria for Band 4.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.