Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Human relationship is difficult but very important, which is why people look for ways to bond better. While i agree that music plays a key role in uniting people from different tribes and ages, I disagree that it is the most effective unifying factors, as other elements such as sports, intermarriage and education are stronger.
Music is a universal language that soothes the mind, in that most people dance to music they do not know the lyrics. On the dance floor, everyone is expressing
themselves without segregating because the only thing in their mind is giving the floor their absolute best. For example, when a Yoruba song is being played in a club, people dance to it even when they don't understand a single word, sometimes, they even exchange partners while dancing because they are already carried away by the sweet melody. On the same hand, it encourages collaboration among artists. Artists, whether young or old seeks to make music with their colleagues from other tribes whom are doing well. This helps them to sell out their arenas and become more popular among people of other culture. For instance, a popular Yoruba artist in Nigeria has made a lot of music with the Igbos and when asked why during an interview, he said, he did it once and continued because it paid off.
However, other factors such as sports, intermarriage and education brings people better connection between of different culture and age. During sports such as soccer, different people from different ethnic groups support a particular team not minding that they don't speak the same language. When there team scores, they all jump up in happiness, At that point, they are discussing about the teammates who are playing well and those that are not. For instance, during world cup, people from
different countries and ethnic groups sat
together and enjoyed the season in one
spirit. Also, People from different tribes come together as one in marriage, not only bonding to one another but unites two different families together. This is not temporary but a permanent way of unification because most marriages lasts for a lifetime. Education is even, a
better better stronger way for the younger generation to bond longer which on most cases lingers for life, This is
because universities creates room for everyone irrespective of where you are from. Take for example, when an igbo man marries a yoruba women, both families becomes one.
In conclusion, although music contributes to tribal unity, I believe factors such as intermarriage, sports and education unites people stronger and permanently.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The candidate addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing whether music brings different cultures and ages together and directly providing a clear counter-position that other factors like sports, intermarriage, and education are stronger unifying elements. The position is maintained consistently throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as Yoruba songs in clubs and international sports events. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise in parts of the body paragraphs, and the exploration of age as a dimension of unification is somewhat overshadowed by the focus on culture. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 7, as all parts of the task are adequately addressed with a clear position and supported ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving from an introduction to music as a unifier, then to counter-arguments regarding sports, intermarriage, and education, and concluding neatly. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'While I agree', 'For example', and 'However'. However, there are minor issues with referencing and mechanical cohesion, such as 'On the same hand' instead of 'On the other hand' or 'Simultaneously', and some abrupt transitions between ideas in the third paragraph. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, but minor cohesion slips prevent this criterion from reaching Band 7's flexible standard, placing it securely at Band 6.5.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The candidate demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'segregating', 'intermarriage', 'permanent way of unification', and 'melodies'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'most unifying factors' instead of 'most effective unifying factor', 'whom are doing well' instead of 'who are doing well', and 'unites people stronger' instead of 'unites people more strongly'. Spelling is generally good, but some lexical errors and awkward phrasings cause occasional strain for the reader, aligning the response with the descriptors for Band 6.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over relative clauses and conditional structures. However, frequent grammatical errors persist, including subject-verb agreement issues ('universities creates room', 'both families becomes one'), pronoun misuse ('When there team scores'), and punctuation slips. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they occur with enough frequency to prevent the grammar from reaching Band 7, where frequent error-free sentences and good control of complex structures are required. The control demonstrated is characteristic of Band 6.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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