Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often argued that some people believe that music is a good route of connecting people of opposite civilization and life phases together.

I completely agree with this view given that when people heard music of different language's they try to learn some lines to enhanced it and try to search the wording to carry the exact meanings in our domestic language, furthermore it's universal truth that melody or beat of opposite languages hit the heart to the mind and people really enjoy it.

first and foremost, peoples catch some lines from the music and detail study about it what wana he said and people usually implement it in his daily life to used it's vocabulary to learn about different culture languages as well as it's singing.

for example, people of Pakistan associated with different provinces and every state have different

Languages so peoples used his own languages such as pashto and Punjabi, As long as pashto language is difficult in learning as well as speaking as compared to Punjabi. So here most of the Punjabi speak pashto fluently as long as some pashto speak Punjabi fluently.

On the other hand , pashto singing having loud beat so people of different culture some time enjoy it and some other skip it , Nevertheless some Punjabi song having low beat so different people belong to different civilization feel it pleasently. During eid days all of the people connect to the other cultures as well and dance on it's song and then take a dinner as well with each cultural people.

for instance, Most pashto song playing on Happiness event like marriage or Eid days meanwhile Punjabi music maximum people listen during traveling or based on it's psychology.

In conclusion, I completely agree with that music associated with different culture may play an important role to connect different cultures people as long as people belong to different ages .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position of agreement regarding whether music brings people of different cultures and ages together. The main idea—that people learn about other cultures through music and enjoy different beats—is present, but the development of ideas is limited and at times unclear due to confusing explanations. For example, the mention of regional languages in Pakistan attempts to support the argument, but the reasoning becomes convoluted and fails to fully explain how music bridges age gaps, which is only mentioned briefly in the conclusion. While all parts of the prompt are touched upon, the arguments lack depth and coherent extension, aligning best with Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organisation lacks clear progression. Transitions between ideas are frequently awkward or repetitive, such as the overuse of phrases like 'for example', 'on the other hand', and 'as long as'. Cohesive devices are often inaccurate or misused, creating confusion in the logical relationships between sentences. For instance, 'As long as pashto language is difficult in learning' is used inappropriately as a transitional or conditional linker. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is disjointed, making the overall flow difficult to follow. This level of cohesion and paragraphing reflects Band 4.5 to 5.0, fitting firmly into Band 5.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. Examples include 'opposite civilization and life phases' instead of 'different cultures and age groups', 'detail study about it what wana he said', and 'Happiness event'. There are also issues with word forms, such as 'pleasently' instead of 'pleasantly' or 'pleasant'. While the writer attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'psychology' and 'civilization', these are often used incorrectly. The lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for conveying very basic points, resulting in frequent errors that occasionally impede understanding, corresponding to Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The essay demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on run-on sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions or repetitive linkers like 'as long as'. There are frequent and systematic errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction, such as 'when people heard music of different language's they try to learn', 'peoples catch some lines', and 'pashto singing having loud beat'. Punctuation is also problematic, with incorrect comma placement and uncapitalised sentence beginnings. Because errors are frequent, severe, and consistently impede the flow of meaning, the grammatical control aligns with Band 4.0 descriptors.

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