Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Music is an important part in human lifes. Some people believed that music can came different kind of cultures people and to different ages people.Here we will discuss about it and I will give more explanations.
Music is an entertainment thing which makes to environment much beautifull and enjoyfull.Every person have favorite different kind of songs which they listen in own free time.Some people have this hobbies.For instance, a song is fulfill from emotions, attractions, and pleasures. It is very essential thing which makes sad, happy etc, and also meet different kind of peoples.Some people have firmly believed that music is a sorce which gathered to related different cultures from the people and every ages of people.
I strongly believed that music has a lot of sources.For example,when we go at concert where we see different kind of people included like young, child, older.And we see different kind of person which has different religion, languages,and other factors.Because it does not matter that which language is this there people just enjoy it. In my country our young generation listening korean songs , english songs. They does not consider these language but whenever they listen music or songs they understand some unique words and they just feel pleasure and enjoy.
In conculsion,I do agree with firmly , that music is an essantial part in people lifes and it cames different of people and diferent kind of ages peolpe to gathered.Because it has several attractions which everyone make comfortable.But every time listen music can be harmfull.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt regarding whether music brings people of different cultures and ages together. The writer presents a clear, albeit simple, position of agreement and attempts to support it with examples, such as attending concerts and observing young people listening to foreign music. However, the ideas are relatively undeveloped and lack depth. Terms like 'music is an entertainment thing' and the abrupt addition of 'every time listen music can be harmfull' at the very end show limited expansion and a lack of full task realization. Overall, the performance aligns best with the Band 5 descriptors, as the task is addressed, but the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and repetitious statements, such as 'Here we will discuss about it and I will give more explanations.' The use of cohesive devices is often faulty or mechanical, as seen with phrases like 'In conculsion,I do agree with firmly'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within sentences and paragraphs is weak, meaning referencing is not always clear. This places the response firmly at Band 5 for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic and repetitive. The writer relies heavily on simple terms such as 'thing', 'good', 'different kind of people', and 'feel pleasure and enjoy'. There are numerous word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'music is an important part in human lifes', 'music can came different kind of cultures people', and 'music is a sorce which gathered to related different cultures'. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary like 'essential', 'attractions', and 'generations', persistent inaccuracies in spelling ('lifes', 'beautifull', 'enjoyfull', 'hobbies', 'sorce', 'essantial') and word formation limit the lexical range, corresponding to Band 4.5, rounded to 4.5 or 4.0. Given the basic and repetitive nature of the vocabulary with errors that frequently strain the reader, a band score of 4.0 is appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical accuracy is very low. Frequent errors occur in almost every sentence, including tense usage, prepositions, subject-verb agreement, and word order. Examples include 'Some people believed that music can came different kind of cultures people', 'Every person have favorite different kind of songs', and 'when we go at concert where we see different kind of people included like young, child, older'. Punctuation and spacing errors (e.g., missing spaces after commas and periods) are also pervasive. Because errors are frequent, distort meaning in places, and impede smooth reading, the grammar performance reflects the Band 4 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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