Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued, sometimes that music is an effective way to create harmony of people. While it might be a good way to attract people from different cultures and age group to singular platform to some extent, I contradict this point of view, as there are more effective ways.

Admittedly, music has played a vital role throughout generations to connect people together across different races and ages. This is often because there are possibilities that people from different cultures have same taste in music as well as they might follow a particular artist. For example, Drake has a variety of listeners across the globe as well as different age group of people listen to him. However, listening to same music still isn't as effective as some other ways. It doesn't not address thr root causes of different races being pulled together.

A far more effective strategy would be to encourage people to nake international friends. Firstly, there should be developed cities like new York, london, and Toronto ehich provide suitable lifestyle and secure rights for people from different cultures. Moreover, government of every other country should drastically increase investment on tourism as this change would result in an increase in tourists. This will bring people from different countries at one place. Likewise, tourism also facilitates young children, older people, and adults to emjoy their times of life.

In conclusion, although music might have success in bringing different races together and removing borders, I believe it is not optimal way. Bringing different people together via social media apps and tourism would be far better option

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task only partially, as the position is not always clear and some ideas remain limited and under-developed. While you attempt to present a counter-argument to the prompt, stating 'I contradict this point of view', your main line of reasoning shifts somewhat between paragraphs without fully exploring how music actually impacts cultural and generational bridges. For example, when you mention that 'listening to same music still isn't as effective as some other ways', this idea is left under-developed and lacks robust support. Similarly, your alternative suggestions regarding international friendship cities and tourism are introduced briefly without deep elaboration. To move to a higher level, you should ensure that your position is maintained consistently and that every main idea is fully extended with relevant explanations and more specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

There is a coherent overall arrangement to your essay, and you use basic paragraphing to separate your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, and referencing is not always entirely clear. For instance, the transition between discussing music in the second paragraph and introducing tourism in the third paragraph feels a bit abrupt, and cohesive devices are occasionally repetitive or over-used, such as the reliance on words like 'Firstly' and 'Moreover'. Additionally, referencing can be unclear, such as the phrase 'this change' in the third paragraph, which makes it slightly difficult to follow the progression of your ideas. To improve, work on smoothing out your transitions between paragraphs and ensuring that cohesive devices link your thoughts naturally without drawing mechanical attention to themselves.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, meaning you use a range of common terms that allow you to communicate your general message, but noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling do appear. Examples include 'age group of people' instead of 'age groups', 'make international friends' rather than 'form international friendships', and typos like 'nake' instead of 'make' and 'ehich' instead of 'which'. Furthermore, you attempt some less common vocabulary, such as 'root causes' and 'optimal way', but these attempts occasionally suffer from slight inaccuracies in collocation or phrasing. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on expanding your use of precise vocabulary, checking your word forms carefully, and eliminating spelling slips to ensure your writing flows naturally and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

Your writing demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying on a mix of simple sentence forms alongside attempts at complex sentences that are frequently faulty. There are several grammatical errors regarding articles, prepositions, and verb forms, such as 'harmony of people' instead of 'harmony among people', 'It doesn't not address thr root causes', and 'government of every other country should drastically increase investment on tourism' instead of 'in tourism'. Moreover, sentence boundary and punctuation slips occur, such as the missing full stop in the first paragraph's opening sentence ('It is argued, sometimes that...'). While these errors rarely completely impede communication, their frequency places the grammar firmly within this band. To progress, aim to increase your control over complex sentence patterns and carefully review your work for basic agreement, article usage, and prepositional accuracy.

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