Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that, music is convinient way to foster a social cohesion from a diverse cultural backgrounds including different generations. I strongly agree agree with this viewpoint and reasons of my being will be explained in upcoming paragraphs with opinion and logical conclusion.

To begin with, music have a profound impact on diverse cultural background. There are several fundamental reasons behind this trend is that, music is a cultural bridge in which people from different cultures introduce each other with a help of music without requiring them to speak language of their nationality. Moreover, listening to a foregn country songs brings people together and curious about another culture including language, tradition and history. For instance, International music brings individuals together from different backgrounds, especially youngsters connect with diverse pop music.

Equally important is the fact that, music connects different generations. A music can create a shared experience between two generations older and younger, while they belongs to different lifestyle. In addition, parents can introduce to children songs from their youth, while children should also exchange songs of modern era. For example, grandparents and children celebrate various festivals and occassions especially weddings they all involve in dance traditional and contemporary music mix up and everyone participates in it.

I firmly beleive that, resharing music with ages and being known about various backgrounds. Therefore, music is efficient may to promote languages and traditions.

To sum up, it is significant factor that fosters social cohesion from a universal form of expression people gain cultural awareness. Consequently, share a common experience younger and older generations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position on whether music brings diverse cultures and ages together. Relevant ideas are introduced, such as music acting as a cultural bridge and creating shared experiences across generations, as seen in the discussion of grandparents and children celebrating weddings. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack full extension. For instance, the mention that youngsters connect with diverse pop music is stated without sufficient supporting detail or specific examples. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to fully develop every supporting point with deeper explanation and robust examples rather than relying on brief assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and paragraphs are used to structure different ideas, such as cultural backgrounds versus generational connections. However, progression is sometimes hindered by mechanical or faulty cohesion. Phrases like 'To begin with,' 'Equally important is the fact that,' and 'To sum up' are employed, but referencing and logical links within paragraphs are not always clear, as seen in the abrupt transitions between sentences in the body paragraphs. Additionally, paragraphing could be managed more effectively to ensure a smoother flow of ideas throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'social cohesion,' 'profound impact,' and 'contemporary music mix up.' However, there are noticeable word choice, collocation, and word form errors throughout the text, such as 'convinient way' instead of convenient, 'foregn country songs' instead of foreign songs, and 'efficient may' instead of efficient way. Spelling slips also occur, such as 'beleive.' While these errors do not severely impede communication, they restrict the lexical score because precision and control are lacking in more ambitious phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control is inconsistent, resulting in frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. There are notable issues with article usage, subject-verb agreement, and clause structure, such as 'music is convinient way' missing an article, 'music have a profound impact' showing a plural verb error, and 'reasons of my being will be explained' which is awkward and grammatically strained. Furthermore, relative clauses and prepositions within grammatical patterns are sometimes faulty, as demonstrated in phrases like 'introduce each other with a help of music without requiring them to speak language.' Achieving a higher band would require greater accuracy across a wider variety of complex structures.

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