Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

it is often good act as to bringing people close .Music is very good thing for humans mental health .When you feel bored then you listen music its helps you to less your Stress and feel happy .i think music are very help full thing for peoples off every age most people play songs on there home festivals and enjoy it and even the old family members are getting enjoy them .Some times in big citys festivals people play music on local areas like streets parks and other public places you can see there most people are not belongs to the same city even they are other countrys people but when the music play its comes and enjoy with local peoples and join them so i agree with this piont that music is good way to bringing people of different cultures together .i told you one experince off my life its pretty interesting so last year me and my friends go to karachi on beach and we decided to a celebrte a birthday off my friend on the beach so we go to the beach and we play some music and i shocked and happy after seeing that when we play the music there are so many peoples comes to us and joining over party and enjoy the music and the all peoples from different ages and diffrent cultures we really enjoyed is its very memorable for me overall at the end i think music is very better for our emotions and its bring people together

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that music brings people of different cultures and ages together. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive, which keeps the score at this level. While the writer attempts to support the argument with a relevant personal example about a beach celebration in Karachi, the explanation remains quite basic and under-developed. To move toward higher bands, the response would need to extend its examples with deeper explanations and provide more fully realized arguments regarding both age and cultural integration rather than relying on brief assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The text suffers from a lack of clear overall progression and organization. The entire response is written as a single massive run-on paragraph without any division into an introduction, body paragraphs, or a conclusion. Furthermore, cohesive devices are almost entirely absent or used very inaccurately, resulting in a series of clauses strung together with conjunctions like 'and' or 'so' rather than logically sequenced sentences. Referencing is also unclear in places, making it difficult to follow the flow of ideas. To improve, the writer must implement a standard essay structure with proper paragraphing and use a wider range of appropriate cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, featuring basic terms alongside noticeable errors. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'emotions' and 'celebrate', but struggles with word choice, word formation, and spelling, writing phrases like 'help full' instead of helpful, 'citys' instead of cities, and 'piont' instead of point. These lexical errors and awkward collocations cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to expand their lexical range, use more precise academic vocabulary, and ensure correct word forms and spelling throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex structures that contain frequent errors. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'music are very help full', 'peoples off every age'), incorrect verb forms, missing articles, and faulty prepositions within grammatical patterns. Punctuation is also heavily neglected, as the text lacks proper sentence boundaries throughout the entire response. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To progress, the student must demonstrate better control over basic sentence structures, improve punctuation by using periods instead of comma splices, and reduce the frequency of fundamental grammatical mistakes.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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