Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Most individuals say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. For my perspective, music is connect through vibes. People can enjoy through music. Cultures and ages do not matter. Furthermore, music can relax you in a good way.
In the world, individuals have different cultures. They live in different countries. However, when music is play they get together and enjoy. For instance, the music artists have different countries but peoples can love the most. They love their art. They do not judge what is his or her country. They just respect them. Moreover, Different cultures can close them through music. People can happy to hear music.
Old people can enjoy to hear old music and youngster can enjoy new music. However, both can enjoy through music. Old artist can create such a facinating music. People have different countries but they love to hear music of different countries. Because they love culture. Even old age person more connected. Youngster hear new music but they reintroduced old music.
I believe individuals can enjoy music. People can interested to see and love different cultures. Ages does not matter. Old people are more connect. People love to explore cultures. They are celebrate. Music can connect cultures. In my perspectives, good music can connect you whatever, your culture is different. So, people can love to each other through only music. People can find peace to hear. It is a spirtual activity. Some people are tired. They hear and feel relax.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response meets the task requirements only minimally, and the length requirement is NOT met. The student's response contains 237 words, falling 13 words short of the 250-word minimum. Furthermore, 16 words copied directly from the task prompt were not counted. While the essay attempts to address the prompt regarding whether music brings people of different cultures and ages together, the ideas remain limited and heavily under-developed. The position is stated vaguely at the beginning with phrases like 'music is connect through vibes', but it lacks clear development, logical extension, or specific, well-articulated examples. The arguments repeat similar points about cultures and ages without providing substantial elaboration.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay displays some organization, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Although paragraphs are used to separate different thoughts, the internal flow within paragraphs is disjointed and repetitive. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or repetitive, relying heavily on basic linkers like 'However' and 'Moreover' without always establishing a logical connection between sentences. For instance, transitions between sentences regarding older and younger generations feel abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the exact line of argument from one sentence to the next.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, representing a limited range that is only minimally adequate for the task. The student attempts to use less common items, but this results in noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation, such as 'music is connect', 'People can happy to hear music', and 'facinating music'. While communication is occasionally maintained, spelling and lexical inaccuracies cause difficulty for the reader. Words like 'spirtual' contain spelling errors, and phrases such as 'Youngster hear new music' show awkward collocation and missing plurals or articles.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response features a very limited range of sentence structures, primarily consisting of simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex forms. Frequent errors are present in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles. Examples include 'when music is play', 'peoples can love', 'Ages does not matter', and 'Old age person more connected'. Punctuation and prepositions inside grammatical patterns are also problematic. These frequent errors distract the reader and occasionally obscure the intended meaning, reflecting basic control over grammatical structures.
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