Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's modern world, it is a widely held view that an increasing number of individuals argue that music is excellent manner of adjusting people from different cultures and diverse age togather. I partially agree with this point of view because musical events can allow us to build strong relation with different cultures and age bt at the same time it waste our valuable time and often get involve in stress and anxiety.

To commence with, a growing number of people hold a view that music is important because musical events such as music festivals can allow us to bring happnes and familier with one another in vary short period of time. Likewise, it give us the opportunity to communicate with different age of groups males and females to build a stronge relation with them. As a result, our culture and society will be also enhance and developed by getting involved in such kinds of music festivals. Hence, I strongly believe that music paly a crucial role in combining distinct people from various cultures and age bacause it allow individuals to keep connected with one another and keep a healthy realtionship with diverse cultures and different age member.

On the other hand, personal development and good time management should not be ignored totaly. They are also essential parts of an individual life for maintaining bright future. To elaborate futher, people should also need to concentrate on their own development by learning new skills and experience rather than involving only on musical events. This will lead to give you a bright future in which you later give some time for musical events also. Secondly, time is a valuable asset in our life, therefore, it should be spend in wise amount for each events, such as some time for entertainments like joining musical festivals to familier with different culture and diverse age members as well as mainly focus on your personal developent by give a considerable time to improve your lifestyle.

In conclusion, some people argue that musical events is a good way of bringing different cultures and diverse age of people because with help of musical festivals we can build a healthy relationship with different cultures and variod age of people and it also give us the opportunity to be relex. However, muscial events can also create obstacle in terms of fewer focus on personal development and lack of time management. In my view a balanced approach where taking some time for musical events and mainly focus on future goal is more beneficial.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, presenting a clear, albeit partially agreeable, position on whether music brings diverse cultures and ages together. The main arguments are relevant to the task, discussing how musical events foster connections while also considering counter-arguments like time management. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the discussion on personal development in the third paragraph is somewhat repetitive and less elaborated than the points in the second paragraph regarding cultural harmony. To move to a higher band, the writer would need to ensure all main points are extended with deeper explanations and concrete examples rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, where each paragraph has a distinct focus. The writer attempts to use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Likewise', and 'On the other hand' to guide the reader through the text. However, referencing is not always clear, and some cohesive devices are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To elaborate futher' and 'Secondly'. The transition between ideas occasionally feels abrupt. To fully reach the next band, the writer needs to employ referencing more fluidly and ensure that logical relationships between sentences are managed with greater precision and variety.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items like 'cultural harmony' and 'personal development'. However, there are noticeable lexical and spelling inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'togather' instead of 'together', 'happnes' instead of 'happiness', 'familier' instead of familiar, and 'relex' instead of relax. Word choice and collocations are occasionally unnatural, for instance, 'adjusting people' instead of 'bringing people together' and 'spend in wise amount'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the score. To improve, the writer needs to expand their control of word forms, collocations, and standard spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at structures like relative clauses and conditional ideas, as seen in 'music paly a crucial role in combining distinct people from various cultures and age bacause it allow individuals to keep connected'. There are several grammatical errors present, including subject-verb agreement issues ('music paly', 'it allow'), incorrect prepositions, and structural awkwardness. However, these errors rarely impede overall communication. To achieve a higher band, the writer must produce a greater proportion of error-free sentences when using complex structures and improve control over basic grammatical agreements and article usage.

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