Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

yes i am agree music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and age together. most of the people cannot understand the language but they enjoy alot espacially aged person. music is a way they introduce other culture. i.e people can go others marraiges and gain new experience , traditions. music can help to realeas stress and engaged people in one place. in now days many app introduce they provide songs musics in different languages every person can easily acces and play music in any place. you can create our own playlist many employees can hear music to release stress. every country has it own music i think most of the people enjoy more other countries music. music is a good way to engaged people together In old time music is a good way to transfer message one person to another person. in now days i think every person like music minimum pperson

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You clearly agree with the statement, and several relevant points appear: music can introduce people to other cultures, bring people together at weddings, and help employees relieve stress. However, these ideas are mostly listed rather than explained or supported with a specific example, and the final point about music transferring messages is not connected clearly to the question. The response also does not meet the required minimum: it contains 146 words, with 10 words copied from the prompt excluded from the count, so it is 104 words short. This leaves the discussion minimal and prevents you from developing your position across the task. Add developed examples and explain how music connects people across both cultures and age groups.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response has a recognisable overall focus on music bringing people together, and the ideas about weddings, stress relief and music apps are relevant. However, the points are presented in one continuous block, without paragraphing or a clear progression from one reason to the next. Connections between ideas are often unclear: for example, the move from music apps to employees listening at work is abrupt, and the closing sentence does not provide a clear conclusion. Basic linking words such as “and” and “in now days” do not show the relationship between claims consistently. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, and use clear links to explain how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “culture,” “traditions,” “stress” and “playlist,” so the main subject is generally understandable. There are also attempts to express ideas such as music introducing other cultures and releasing stress. However, the vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise, which makes some phrases difficult to interpret, such as “aged person,” “engaged people in one place” and “minimum pperson.” Spelling errors, including “espacially,” “marraiges” and “realeas,” also reduce clarity. Build a wider set of accurate topic phrases and check spelling; for example, describe music as “a shared cultural experience” or say it “helps people connect,” rather than repeating “good way” and “engaged people together.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate your main opinion and attempt to form longer sentences, for example, “music can help to realeas stress and engaged people in one place.” However, sentence structures are mostly simple or joined without clear grammatical control, and errors occur frequently. The opening, “yes i am agree,” has an incorrect verb pattern; “every country has it own music” shows problems with possessive form and agreement, while “many app introduce they provide songs” lacks a clear sentence structure. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, making sentence boundaries hard to follow. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add controlled complex sentences using “because,” “which” or “when.” Check verb forms, articles, plurals and sentence punctuation during revision.

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