Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argue that music is a good way of bringing people of different sectors together. While, it is true that music is a useful mechansim for the unity of society. I firmly agree wth the view that music and sounds proved to be very beneficial for public. This essay will not only elaborate on my viewpoint but also provides relevant examples to support it.

One of the most significant reasons is that music reduces stress and anxiety level in individuals.Specially, young adults prefer to listen music during travelling. Moreover during live concerts, people from different culture, traditions and age come and enjoyed it altogether. It raises spirit of unity and togetherness among public.For instance, on public roads in a city when someone sing a song everyone pay attention to singer and started to listen it together.People might also appreciate singer and spend money to encourage them.

Another primary reason is that in these days everyone is interested into music and songs. Individuals have different kinds of music taste and prefer to listen music of their own choice.So musicians try to sing song of almost all types. Through music it is more likely that childrens, adults and old people listen music together and they can get awareness about each other's culture and traditions.Music removes the differences between age and culture. A particularly good example of this pathans have fond of pashto songs, whereas punjabi prefer to listen punjabi songs but whenever thay come close they sing and listen music of their own asa well as other's customs.

In conclusion, I strongly with the statement because it offers numerous benefits in terms of unity and love. Therefore, I believe that this approach proves to be best for both individuals and society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that music can unite people, and you give relevant reasons involving shared enjoyment at concerts and exposure to different cultures. The examples of people listening to a street singer and of Pashtun and Punjabi music help connect your ideas to the topic. However, the response addresses the question only partially because several claims are asserted rather than explained. For example, the point that music reduces stress is not clearly linked to bringing different ages or cultures together, and the final example needs more detail about how shared listening creates understanding. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation and a specific, fully explained example; this would make your response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Phrases such as “One of the most significant reasons” and “Another primary reason” signal the main points, and the conclusion returns to your position. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion moves from stress relief to concerts and then to street singing without explaining the links between these ideas. Some connections are also repetitive, particularly repeated references to unity and listening to music together. Use a clearer sequence of claim, explanation and example in each paragraph, and make links between sentences more precise. This would improve the overall progression and reduce the mechanical feel of the transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “stress and anxiety,” “live concerts,” “culture and traditions,” and “unity and togetherness.” These choices make the subject clear, but the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the reader work to understand your meaning. Examples include “different sectors” for groups of people, “useful mechanism for the unity,” and “interested into music.” There are also spelling errors such as “mechansim,” “thay,” and “asa.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. Replacing repeated general terms with accurate expressions such as “bring communities together” or “share musical traditions” would make your argument clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including the introductory “While…” construction and the “not only…but also” structure. However, complex forms are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries can make parts difficult to follow. For example, “It is often argue” needs a passive verb form, while “people…come and enjoyed it” shifts tense within one clause. In “everyone pay attention… and started,” the verb forms do not agree with the subject or each other. Several sentences also run together without appropriate punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using subordinate clauses and conjunctions; check subject–verb agreement and keep verb tense consistent.

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