Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, music become an integral part of our life. We can not imgaine life without it. While this development offers several notable benefits and gives us a negative ways

. All my experience i will write in this essay about music.

The first and foremost reason is that music is a good way tu relax and fell better after a long busy day, after listening music people feel fresh and energentic and avoid their stress amd makes them happy. In fact, its depend o their own taste what they want to listen sad or energenatic music.

Another significant reason is that when we listen foreign music it helps to improve our English experience and we speak English with full confidently and fluently.

On the other hand, I argue that the music have many negative ways. such as, mostly chlidren spend most of their time to listen music and when they listen music they avoid their family and freinds and becomes them rude they forget their homework while listening music and act like very lazy. so music is harmful for thei studies and fitness.

However i argue that music is very dangerious for our lifestyle. For example, when people crossing the road and sitting on their car or bike, they put their airburds and headphones, their full on music while crossing the road or driving that's become the reason of accident.

So, music gives us a greater and bad both lifestyle, but we forget abou other things while listening the music which is very dangerous for oue life, music have both positive ways and negative ways, but advantage are far from disadvantage.

In my opinion, we have to make timetable for to listen music beacuse it timtable is very important for our happy and healthy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response gives a general view that music has both benefits and drawbacks, and the final sentence recommends setting a timetable for listening. However, the question specifically asks whether music brings people of different cultures and ages together, and this central idea is only touched on indirectly through the point about foreign music helping with English. Most of the essay instead discusses relaxation, children’s study habits, and road safety, so the response addresses the task only minimally. The position is also difficult to identify: the essay says the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but later calls music dangerous and recommends limiting it. To improve, state clearly how far you agree and develop relevant examples of music connecting generations or cultures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, several body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with signposts such as “The first and foremost reason,” “On the other hand,” and “So.” These help the reader recognise some shifts in the discussion. However, the ideas do not progress coherently toward an answer to the question: the paragraphs move from relaxation to English learning, children’s behaviour, and traffic accidents without a clear link to cultural or age-group connection. Some transitions also create unclear relationships, particularly “On the other hand” before the negative points and “However i argue” immediately afterward. The conclusion repeats the mixed-benefit idea rather than resolving the position. Group related points and use transitions that show their precise relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The essay uses a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “relax,” “stress,” “foreign music,” “homework,” and “accident,” and the reader can generally understand the intended points. However, vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise, as in “negative ways,” “positive ways,” and “greater and bad both lifestyle.” Several spelling errors, including “imgaine,” “energentic,” “chlidren,” and “dangerious,” also weaken clarity and control. Some combinations are unnatural, such as “improve our English experience” and “full on music.” Aim for more precise phrases and check spelling carefully; for example, describe music as “a source of relaxation” or say it “can help listeners practise English.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and uses basic linking structures, but sentence patterns are limited and grammatical errors occur frequently, sometimes making relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “music become an integral part,” “its depend o their own taste,” and “the music have many negative ways,” where verb forms or subject–verb agreement are incorrect. There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, such as the opening fragment ending “negative ways” followed by a separate full stop, and the run-on sequence beginning “So, music gives us.” Articles, prepositions, and infinitive patterns also need attention, as in “after listening music” and “make timetable for to listen music.” Practise accurate simple sentences before adding complex clauses.

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