Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is believed by some people that music is a best way to bringing people together from differnet communities, cultures and ages. I partially agree with this statement. This essay will discuss both views and explain my personal opinion.

On the one hand music is very convenient way of bringing individual of different age group and cultures together. Firstly, more and more people contribute in the event and function become more enjoyable and memorable. Therefore, if the singer focus on togetherness in music and people become together. Furthermore, the taste of music quitely different of old generation and young, "if" both old and new musics mixed and make something new which is enjoy by young and old similar so it is possible different age group people become together.

On the other hand even some major issues are created by some controversial musics. It is happening due to the controversies among singers from different culture, community, and caste it have a lot of disadvantages. In addition, some singers spread wrong things in the youth by promoying weapons, drugs and rule breaking activities as a result some ammateur follow this pathway and spoil their own carrier. Secondly, the time is change and also the thinking and many other things change after a period of time so it is not necessary the thing which is famous among old generation it is always be famous and also liked by young generation.

In conclusion, according to my poersonal opinion it is possible to bring people together but not at all places.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear, though qualified, position: “I partially agree,” and the conclusion restates that music can unite people “but not at all places.” The response addresses both the unifying potential of music and possible divisions or harmful influences, so it is relevant to the question. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The point about combining old and new musical styles could be supported with a specific example, while the claims about controversies between singers and music promoting harmful behaviour are not clearly connected to whether music brings cultures and age groups together. Explain more directly how these examples affect social connection, and make your degree of agreement consistent and explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between benefits and drawbacks, and the main ideas are generally grouped by viewpoint. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. For example, the sentence beginning “Therefore, if the singer focus on togetherness” does not clearly explain how the preceding point leads to the result. The second body paragraph also moves from cultural controversy to harmful lyrics and then generational change without showing the links between them. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the paragraph’s central claim; avoid relying on formulaic transitions alone.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “togetherness,” “controversial,” “promoting,” and “generation,” and the reader can usually identify your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “contribute in the event,” “the taste of music quitely different,” and “follow this pathway.” Spelling errors, including “differnet,” “promoying,” and “ammateur,” also make the writing less controlled. Aim to learn vocabulary in natural phrases and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions for cultural exchange, shared musical experiences, and harmful messages would help you explain your ideas with greater clarity and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if both old and new musics mixed…” and cause-and-effect clauses introduced by “as a result.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “music is very convenient way” needs an article, while “the singer focus” and “it have” show agreement problems. The sentence beginning “Furthermore, the taste of music…” also lacks a clear grammatical structure. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then check articles, subject–verb agreement, and verb forms.

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