Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, music plays a crucial role in every concert or event. It is argued by individuals that music bringing happiness among different cultures and different age groups. I strongly agree with this statement because it has some benefits to society.

To commence with, there are several reasons associated with it. The first and foremost point is, connect with different culture. To explain it, some music become very popular and connected with different cultures. Moreover, individuals not only enjoy songs from different culture but also help people to understand other culture. For example, in weddings and parties music plays important role because it make parties more enjoyable and relaxed. However, songs help individuals to understand the past and music festivals encourage culture exchange.

On the other hand, negative side cannot be ignored. The most prominent point is, create critical barrier. To elaborate it, sometime loud music create conflicts between individuals. In addition, some individuals suffer from diseases and they do not like to listen loud music and it makes them stressed and anxiety. For instance, in political strikes they create large sound and it makes individuals uncomfortable.

In conclusion, after taking all the aspects into consideration, I would like to emphasize that it has some valid points. Although music bring happiness among individuals and also help in reduce in stress and anxiety. I believe that sometime loud music make conflicts and makes uncomfortable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You state a clear overall view—“I strongly agree”—and give relevant reasons, including music’s role in cultural exchange and the possibility that loud music causes discomfort. However, the response only partially develops the task: the positive points are broad, and the example of weddings and parties explains enjoyment more than how music brings different cultures and age groups together. The negative paragraph also shifts to noise-related problems without clearly weighing these against your agreement. The conclusion is difficult to follow and does not restate your position consistently. In addition, the response is 18 words below the required minimum, leaving less space to explain and support your ideas. Develop one or two examples in detail and make your degree of agreement clear throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting points, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from cultural connection to parties, history, and festivals without explaining how each point relates to the main claim. Some transitions are mechanical, and “To commence with” and “To elaborate it” do not always lead into a clearly developed explanation. The conclusion’s “Although” clause is left without a complete contrasting main clause, which weakens the ending. Group related points, use clearer references, and connect each example explicitly to your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “different cultures,” “music festivals,” “culture exchange,” and “political strikes,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For example, “connect with different culture” and “create critical barrier” do not express the intended ideas naturally, while “help in reduce in stress” is an imprecise phrase. Repetition of “individuals,” “music,” and “different culture” also limits flexibility. Aim for accurate collocations and more specific wording, such as describing music as a “shared cultural experience” or explaining that loud noise “causes tension.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including “Although music bring happiness among individuals…” and sentences beginning “To explain it” and “For example.” However, grammatical errors are frequent, and some sentences are incomplete or difficult to interpret. Examples include “It is argued by individuals that music bringing happiness,” where the verb structure is faulty, and “The first and foremost point is, connect with different culture,” which lacks a complete clause. There are also recurring agreement and article errors, such as “music make parties” and “music bring happiness,” as well as an unfinished contrast in the conclusion. Practise building complete subject–verb sentences and checking agreement, articles, and clause structure before adding complex links.

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