Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

NOWADAYS PEOPLE ASK THAT MUSIC IS A GOOD WAY OF BRINGING PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT CULTURES AND AGES TOGETHER. I BELIEVE THAT MUSIC ARE IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE AND DISCUSS BOTH POINTS.

ON THE ONE HAND, MUSIC IS VERY ESSENTIAL FOR EVERYONE. INDIVIDUALS JUST LOVE TO HEAR MUSIC THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MUSIC JUST LIKE ROCK, CLASSIC AND POP-UP MUSIC. THE PEOPLE PEOPLE ENJOY TO DIFFERENT ASPECTS THEY CAN WEAR HEADPHONES AND START LISTENING. SOMETIMES A VERY HECTIC SECHEDULE WITH THE WHOLE DAY AND A PERSON JUST SIT AND RELAX AND ENJOY FOR JUST FEW MINUTES TO PLAY MUSIC AND LISTEN THEM. MUSIC IS ALSO A THERAPY FOR SOME PATIENTS. DOCTORS ARE SUGGESTS TO WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO PLAY AND RELAX YOUR MIND AND FORGET ALL THE NEGATIVITY.

ON THE OTHER HAND, PLAYING AND LISTENING MUSIC ARE BAD EFECTS FOR YOUNG GENERATION BECAUSE THEY LISTEN ALL THE TIME AND CAN NOT DO OTHER ACTIVITIES. THEY DO NOT COMPLETE THEIR SCHOOL WORK AND SUCH HOUSE HOLD ACTICITIES. PARENTS ARE ALSO WORRIED BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT SIT TO THE FAMILY AND DO NOT TALK THEM. MEAN WHILE THEIR IS A BAD IMPRESSION FOR OTHERS WHO ARE NOT LISTENING TO THE MUSIC.

IN MY PERSPECTIVE, I THINK LISTENING MUSIC CAN EXPELLED OUR NEGITIVITY IN OUR MIND AND THEY JUST CALM MOOD TO EVERY PERSON WHICH ARE AGGRESSIVE AND EXHAUSTIED. BUT IN THE OTHER SIDE MUSIC IS A FREE TIME ACTIVITY OR SOME INDIVIDUALS CAN LISTEN ALL TIME THEY CAN EFFECTS TO THE EARS AND NOT CONTINUE TO THE WORK.

TO SUM UP, MUSIC IS A GOOD WAY TO LISTEN TO EVERY INDIVIDUAL.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You refer to music’s effects on people and give a personal view, but the response only minimally addresses the specific question of whether music brings people of different cultures and ages together. Most of the discussion concerns relaxation, therapy, and young people neglecting schoolwork; it does not explain how music connects different age groups or cultures. Your position is also unclear: the opening says you will “discuss both points,” while the conclusion only says music is “a good way to listen to every individual.” To improve, state clearly how far you agree and develop relevant examples, such as people of different generations attending a concert or sharing music from different cultures. The response meets the stated length requirement; 15 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an opening, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding sentence. These markers help readers identify the broad sections. However, the ideas do not progress clearly toward an answer about music uniting cultures and ages, and several points are placed together without explanation. For example, the first body paragraph moves from music genres to relaxation and therapy, while the second shifts from schoolwork to family communication. Repeated or unclear links, such as “Meanwhile” and “in the other side,” also weaken the connections between claims. Group related points and use each paragraph to develop one relevant reason with an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “different kinds of music,” “therapy,” “young generation,” and “family,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and inaccurate word choices or spelling sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “pop-up music,” “expel our negativity,” and “a bad impression for others”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also repeated words, such as “the people people,” and spelling errors including “sechedule,” “negitivity,” and “exhaustied.” Build a more precise set of expressions for the task, such as “bring generations together,” “share cultural traditions,” and “attend live performances,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentences and use basic linking structures, but sentence forms are limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes obscuring the intended meaning. Subject–verb agreement is inaccurate in “music are important” and “Doctors are suggests”; verb forms are also faulty in “a person just sit” and “music can expelled.” Some sentences lack clear grammatical connections, as in “Individuals just love to hear music there are different kinds of music,” while “they were not sit to the family” is difficult to interpret. Work first on accurate simple sentences, then combine related ideas using clauses with correct subjects and verbs. Proofread for agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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