Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Other individuals argue that music is a better way to get humans are various cultures and ages together. I totally agree this statmeant because good bands makes mind relax, comfortable and also play a vital role in national culture.

To commence with, good beats are essential its good for mental health, beacause burdan of works makes life so boring, but good music play a key role in changed the mood. On the other hand, music represent to the our culture all over the world like national anthem is important part of all the countries.For example, famous european crickter and footballer said music build our confidence then we performed best performance.

Secondly, planty of the humans listining the music for enjoyments, like birthday parties ,weddings, are boring without music meanwhile, few peoples go for long drive with friends and family listen music in car and saw the beautiful surrounding views. For instance, WHO survey in 2025 all over the world they said most of the choronic brain disease can be diagnosed to the musical instrumeants as a result its play a important role in mankinds life.

The conclusion of this eassay, I elaborate the main point how music is a good way of bringing of diffrent cultures and ages together I totally agree this line therefore, I discribe it first paragraph I explain national anthem value whereas second paragraph I explicate the how its makes special on the special events and moreover, how its good for our health condition with examples.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear in the opening and conclusion: you strongly agree that music can bring people together. You offer relevant points about national anthems, celebrations, shared listening and possible effects on wellbeing. However, the response only partly addresses the central idea of connecting people across different cultures and ages. Several examples explain why people enjoy music, rather than showing how it creates interaction between groups; the claim about a WHO survey and chronic brain disease is also unclear and does not directly support your argument. Develop each main point with a specific explanation of how music bridges cultural or generational differences, and use examples that are credible and clearly linked to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. You also use signposts such as “To commence with,” “Secondly” and “The conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from mental health to national anthems and then to athletes, without clearly connecting these ideas. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the body points rather than drawing them together. Organise each paragraph around one clear reason, explain it in sequence, and use pronouns and connectors only where their relationships are clear. This would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “national anthem,” “confidence,” “mental health” and “different cultures.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “get humans are various cultures,” “good beats are essential its good,” and “makes special on the special events.” Spelling errors, including “statmeant,” “beacause” and “listining,” also reduce accuracy and can slow the reader. Aim to learn useful topic phrases as complete expressions, then check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise language for shared experiences and cultural connection would help you express your ideas with less repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses joined with “because,” “but” and “whereas.” However, control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors that make relationships between ideas hard to understand. For example, “good bands makes mind relax” has problems with agreement and sentence structure, while “music represent to the our culture” has an unclear grammatical pattern. Articles, plurals and verb forms are also frequently inaccurate, as in “few peoples go” and “music play.” Punctuation is sometimes missing between sentences. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time and check agreement, articles and sentence boundaries.

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