Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Several people believe that music is a exellent way of collecting people of diiferent cultures and ages together. I am agree with that statement because music help the people enjoy special occasion with friends and family members. Music also give us a opportunity to release stress and enjoy with relatives. Below I explain some reasons and examples that support my opinion.

First of all, music help the people enjoy with their family and forget all stress because music collect many people from different cultures and also from different countries and give them a part of time enjoying with their lovers. For example, Im living in Pakistan and my country contain different people from separated cultures and mostly people enjoy events together such as Eid ul Adha is a most important event of Pakistan peole and on this day a big amount of individuals travels to a splace wherethey collected and enjoy sweet dishes and dancing with different songs.

Secondly, In other countries especially in European countries mostly people enjoy Christmist with their families and other relatives. These people start travel to specific places where they can play a variety of songs and some traditionl and national songs and enjoy theirselves with friends. These songs produce brotherhood and love with each other because these Europeans people are very cooperative with each other.

On other hand, music contain some controversy things such as when people from different culture bringing at a plartforms then some wants to play their country songs and other wants to play their national songs.

To sum up, people think musicis a best way of collecting people from opposite culutre. Music help us enjoy ourselves together and it produce humanity with each other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that music can bring people together, and you give examples involving Eid celebrations in Pakistan and Christmas in Europe. These examples are relevant, but the explanation often focuses on people gathering for holidays rather than showing specifically how music connects different cultures and age groups. The point about music helping people release stress is introduced but not developed, and the opposing point about disagreements over song choice is left unexplained. To strengthen the response, explain how shared performances, dancing, or familiar songs help people of different ages or backgrounds interact, and clarify whether the possible disagreement changes your overall view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two supporting paragraphs, a contrasting point, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “To sum up” help readers follow the main stages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first example moves from cultural diversity to travel, food, and dancing without consistently linking these details to music’s unifying effect. The contrast beginning “On other hand” is not connected back to your position or resolved in the conclusion. Some linking language is repetitive or mechanical. Build each paragraph around one clear claim, explain the connection between its example and that claim, and use the final paragraph to address the counterpoint.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “different cultures,” “traditionl and national songs,” “brotherhood,” and “release stress,” so the topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning difficult to follow. For example, “collecting people” is not a natural way to describe bringing people together, and “a part of time enjoying with their lovers” does not clearly express your intended meaning. Spelling errors such as “exellent,” “diiferent,” and “Christmist” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully; vocabulary such as “shared celebrations,” “foster a sense of unity,” and “people from diverse backgrounds” would suit this topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “where,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb agreement and forms occur frequently, as in “music help,” “music also give,” and “I am agree.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in phrases such as “a opportunity” and “Eid ul Adha is a most important event.” Some long sentences combine several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries, which makes the relationships between ideas harder to understand. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete clause structures before adding complexity. For example, “Music helps people enjoy special occasions” is a clear model; then extend it with one accurately formed reason or example.

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