Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, numerous tell that music is a beneficial way to attract more individuals in different cultures and ages with together. youngster today making reels and upload in their social media account with various category of songs. I partially agree with the given statement.

To begin with, music is the significant for many people and listening and enjoy to their work. However, music can relax the body temperature and manintain the strees completely. Moreover, many residents are trying to listening the music when they are working for their jobs and it was a pieace of cake from them. I agree that songs is the best way to popular the person due to adults make reel with songs and upload in their account additionally within a few months it will be successful in their repeactive lifestlye. For instance, In India many youngster try to listened music with different culture and enjoying the songs and it created positive development in their urban society. Finally, the major benefit that many children in many countries are listening because when they are full of strees and not completely properly as well as try to listen music when they are studying.

On the other hand, some people are making detrimental role with the music and and make harmful vedios and create negative development. In addition, many online platforms the young children writing dangerous comment in their music and this way many cultures felling blue on it. For Example, In the New York many pupils are not listening the music and try to avoid. Not only in New York country but also at the modren culture crrating wrong role on it. As a result of, music can developed many students life better.

To conclude, government should have taken a serious action on it owing to many humans in different countries they are listening music and work with pieace of mind. In my opinion, humans have to respect their treaditional music and their culture so it make encouraging more people to developed new music.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“I partially agree”—and include points about music helping people relax and exposing listeners to songs from different cultures. However, the response only partially addresses the central question of whether music brings people of different cultures and ages together. Much of the discussion shifts to social-media reels, stress, harmful videos, and government action, without clearly explaining how music connects people across age groups. The examples about India and New York are difficult to interpret and are not developed to support your position. To strengthen the response, explain specific ways people of different generations or cultural backgrounds share music, then give a clear, relevant example for each main reason.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” show an attempt to organise the discussion. However, the progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from relaxation to work, reels, India, and children studying without showing how these points connect to the question. Some linking phrases are used inaccurately or mechanically, including “As a result of,” which does not lead into a grammatically complete result. The contrast in the second body paragraph is also hard to follow. Group related ideas into focused paragraphs and use linking expressions only when the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary related to the topic, including “different cultures,” “detrimental,” “traditional music,” and “positive development.” However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems sometimes make your meaning difficult to understand. For example, “attract more individuals … with together” does not express the idea of bringing people together naturally, while “relax the body temperature” and “a piece of cake from them” are unsuitable in context. There are also misspellings such as “strees,” “vedios,” and “treaditional.” Build a bank of accurate topic phrases—such as “bridge cultural differences” and “appeal across generations”—and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses beginning with “because” and “when,” but control is limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes obscuring the intended meaning. Examples include “youngster today making reels,” which lacks a finite verb, and “many residents are trying to listening,” where the verb pattern is incorrect. Subject–verb agreement is also inconsistent in “songs is,” and tense shifts appear in “it was a piece of cake” after a present-tense discussion. Several sentences join ideas without clear grammatical structure, particularly the sentence beginning “I agree that songs is the best way.” Practise complete sentence patterns, verb forms after “try,” and agreement, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.