Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Certain individuals are of the opinions that to connect various age groups and different cultures together, sounds is a good means.

I completely agreed ,this is because everyone love music, and it is therapeutic has it have a way of relieving pains, also music fosters unity .

Firstly,Sound is a diversional therapy and its medicinal, to any age group or ethnicity, particularly if the favourite one is been played.as it has a way of luring individual to dance unbaised.it is mostly played in a joyous gathering and the passers by will dance to the tunes unconsciously and this in a way brings healing ,comfort to the distress.

Furthermore, music foster unity particularly among youngsters,,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your position is clear: “I completely agreed” indicates strong agreement, and you give relevant reasons, including music’s therapeutic effect and its ability to foster unity. However, the response addresses the task only partially. The point about people dancing together is relevant, but it is not developed with a specific example or explanation of how music connects people from different cultures and ages. The final sentence about unity among youngsters is unfinished, and there is little discussion of cultural differences or older people. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words. To improve, complete both sides of your argument with developed examples and explain directly how music brings the groups named in the question together.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: you state your view, introduce a reason with “Firstly,” and begin a further point with “Furthermore.” These markers help the reader recognise the intended sequence. However, there is no clear overall progression because the response ends abruptly after the opening of the second supporting point. The first body paragraph combines several claims—therapy, dancing, public gatherings, and comfort—without clearly showing how one leads to the next. Some linking is also awkward, and the opening paragraph’s ideas run together. Use separate paragraphs for distinct reasons, develop each point in a logical order, and connect claims to examples with clear references. A complete conclusion would also help the response feel finished.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “therapeutic,” “medicinal,” “fosters unity,” and “relieving pains,” which shows an effort to express more than basic ideas. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “sounds” is not a natural substitute for music, “diversional therapy” does not clearly express your intended point, and “luring individual to dance unbaised” is unclear. Spelling and word-form problems such as “unbaised” also affect clarity. Aim for precise, familiar collocations rather than unusual wording: for instance, describe music as “a source of comfort” or say that a familiar song “encourages people to dance.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a reason introduced by “because” and a clause beginning “as it has a way.” However, the range is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make parts of the response difficult to understand. Examples include “I completely agreed” and “everyone love music,” where the verb forms do not match the intended meaning or subject. The sentence beginning “Firstly” contains several clauses joined without clear punctuation, while “it is therapeutic has it have” is structurally confusing. There are also incomplete constructions, particularly the final sentence. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check agreement, verb forms, sentence boundaries, and punctuation when editing.

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