Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In modern era, many people have their favourite hobby and spare time activity to listening and singing music of different types. Many people say to brining people of different traditional cultures and ages to come together so, music is a best way. I strongly agree music is the good and natural way together people in one place and also through that we explore different cultures and meet with different age people with variety of life experiences.

Firstly, music is also good way to communicate different people through that we should meet people with older age that have a great experiences in his life e.g in 2022 when i was about 22 years old i go in concert that are held in my native town jhelum on that concert i meet a uncle that have age of around 45 years old on that concert we enjoy alot also now we both are good friends and on every weekend we meet at home i learn alot from my concert friend because he has great experiences in his life he share that storeys with me. So, that are good path of music through we meet two different ages of people together

Secondly, music also engage variety cultures people together through that we different things that are change from over culture e.g in my hostelite life i meet different people how come from different culture when we together at night time we do fun in which when music of different culture we listen we will do dance with certain people also because music have courage together to bringing people close.

However, in nowadays young generation take music in wrong direction they take it seriously and do love drama with girls. Moreover, when some people depressed out they listen music to release that depression. So, taking music in that direction is totally wrong thing.

In conclusion, we should need to sing and listen music within certain limit and enjoy time also explore music of different languages(cultures) through that we meet comunity of different people how listen and sing music. That are best way to bringing people at place.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that music can bring people together, and both body paragraphs address this idea through meeting older people and sharing music across cultures. The concert story gives a relevant personal example, while the hostel example supports your point about cultural exchange. This covers the main task, but the ideas are not equally developed. The first example explains how a friendship formed, whereas the second is less specific about what people learn or how music bridges cultural differences. The paragraph about young people and “love drama” and listening when depressed is not clearly connected to your central argument. Develop the cultural example further and link any qualification directly to whether music unites people.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two supporting paragraphs, a contrasting paragraph and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “However” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the discussion of depression and young people shifts away from the main point without explaining its relevance. Several links are also mechanical or unclear, particularly repeated uses of “through that” and “So.” Some references, such as “that are good path,” do not clearly identify the idea being summarised. Use clearer links between each example and your claim, and make sure each paragraph develops one main point in a logical order.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “different cultures,” “life experiences,” “concert” and “depressed,” and you attempt to express ideas about cultural exchange and connection. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning harder to understand. Examples include “music is a best way,” “do love drama,” “music have courage together” and “hostelite life.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “storeys” for “stories” and “comunity” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn common topic collocations and check whether each phrase expresses the intended meaning. More precise wording would help you explain how music creates shared experiences across age groups and cultures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including explanations and examples, but control of sentence structure is inconsistent. Verb forms and agreement are often inaccurate: “I go in concert,” “I meet a uncle,” and “music have courage” need corrected tense, article and agreement patterns. Some sentences combine several ideas without clear punctuation, as in the long account beginning “in 2022 when i was about 22 years old.” This makes relationships between events difficult to follow. There are also errors with articles, plurals and prepositions, such as “listen music” and “different ages of people.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then join related ideas with clauses while checking tense consistency and punctuation.

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