Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Music is the most famous artform of all. Although, many of the prponents have the same notion that music can bring different cultural races together even with the variety of ages. I totally agree with the notion, in the forthcoming paragraph, the essay will shed the light on he very topic.

To embark with, there numeorous reason behind this cause. The most prominent is, the amount of calmness which provides the music. To elaborate, in plenty of researches, music has proven to be the oxytocin triggerer which camsthe mind, no matter the genre of the music is what. Additionally, people who are unaware about different culture and traditions, may get curious by the tradition and culture shown in visuals of music and which led people to o mouthpublicity and that's result in music goes so far, even by crossing the borders.

However, nowadays, music in other languages can be easily listened in native language by use of artificial intelligence which reflects the rapid growth of music industry. Furthermore, the artist also even try to sing in variety of languages and cultures todignifies the unity by showcasing themlves in other region of world too. Moreover, most ff te time people gather the knowledge of different race, caste, region, by watching combined effect of visual witth music. For an instance, toddlers nowadays are also schooled by listening to basic aplhabets into a musical tone, which is the finest method to reflect music's influence over the minds.

In conclusion, the music is is not the superiority solely, but if combined together with other techniques, can lead to the most influential technique which can provide knowledge rather than not defining the age groups, but any age group even from toddler to a senior citizen. That's why, movies also contains the song so far. Not only this, single track or album, are also now giving hit back again

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you state that you “totally agree,” and the response stays focused on music connecting people across cultures and ages. You offer relevant reasons, including music’s calming effect, exposure to other cultures through music videos, and songs being used to teach toddlers. These examples show that you address the main parts of the question. However, some points are asserted rather than explained: the claim that music triggers oxytocin, for instance, is not linked clearly to how people of different ages or cultures are brought together. The conclusion also shifts towards music as a source of knowledge and mentions films and hit songs without fully drawing together your main argument. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation of how it creates shared experiences.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposting such as “To elaborate,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” helps readers identify the stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. The second body paragraph moves from AI translation to artists singing in different languages, then to cultural knowledge and teaching alphabets; the links between these examples are not always made explicit. Some transitions also sound mechanical, and “However” introduces a point that largely supports your position rather than contrasting with it. The conclusion introduces further claims instead of clearly summarising the reasons already discussed. Group related ideas and use linking phrases to show whether each point adds an example, explains a cause, or presents a contrast.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “oxytocin,” “artificial intelligence,” “traditions” and “influential,” and phrases such as “crossing the borders” show an effort to express abstract ideas. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unclear, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “the amount of calmness which provides the music” and “music is not the superiority solely” do not express the ideas naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “prponents,” “numeorous” and “aplhabets,” alongside awkward phrases such as “o mouthpublicity.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding complex vocabulary; check spelling and choose words that precisely express your point.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “people who are unaware about different culture and traditions” and a conditional structure in the conclusion. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. For example, “Although, many of the proponents have the same notion” is an incomplete construction, while “the artist also even try” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The sentence beginning “To elaborate” also contains a confusing clause structure, and “the music is is not” repeats the verb. Practise building complete sentences around one main idea, then check agreement, articles and punctuation. This will make your complex attempts clearer and more reliable.

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