Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Over recent years, some individuals say that music is a better way of bringing of various tranditionals and ages together. has become a hostly debated issue in society. This matter is particularly significant due to its impact on musics influencing both individuals and communities.

Some people believe that musics is a better way because it sings the song they do not have any issues for them. because there mind have not any issue to face the problem. For instance, when people went to the shoping malls and other events such as birthday party they sang the music so that the music were compulsory for them. Although this viewpoint may seem valid to some extent, I believe it overlooks several key aspects.

One of the main reasons, I support that some people do not like it because it creates the health issues such as ear problem and brain hembrage. This is evident from various studies and real-life examples have shown that. Recently, i went to hospital i saw a lot of people who has stuck in ear issues. Therefore, it is clear that my opinion is well-founded and supported by both evidence and reasoning.

In conclusion, I believe that music or some other tranditionals clearly supports my opinion is that they can use it but some time not any time, primarily due the problems. Moving forward, it is essential to recognize the advantages of this viewpoint and apply it in ways that foster positive outcomes for both individuals and society as a whole.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes an attempt to state a position, especially in the conclusion where you suggest music can be used “but some time not any time.” However, the position is difficult to identify and does not consistently answer whether music brings people of different cultures and ages together. Much of the discussion shifts to whether music causes health problems, such as “ear problem and brain hembrage,” rather than explaining its role in connecting people. The example about singing at shopping malls and birthday parties is relevant in principle, but it does not show how people from different backgrounds or generations are brought together. To strengthen the response, state your degree of agreement clearly and develop relevant examples that directly support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “For instance” and “In conclusion” signal examples and closure. However, the ideas are not arranged in a clear, coherent line of argument. The first body paragraph moves from music being enjoyable to shopping malls and birthday parties, while the next introduces health risks without connecting them clearly to the question of bringing cultures and ages together. Some sentences are difficult to follow, and the conclusion introduces “some other tranditionals” without explaining the reference. Build each paragraph around one relevant point, explain how it supports your position, and use linking phrases only where the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “communities,” “viewpoint,” “real-life examples,” and “positive outcomes.” However, the range is basic and several inaccurate or unclear word choices make the argument difficult to understand. For example, “tranditionals” does not clearly express the intended idea, “musics” is not the appropriate form in this context, and “hostly debated issue” appears to be an inaccurate phrase. Spelling errors such as “shoping” and “hembrage” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise, natural expressions connected to the topic, such as describing music as a “shared cultural experience” or explaining that it can “bridge generational differences.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentence forms, including “Although this viewpoint may seem valid to some extent, I believe it overlooks several key aspects,” and use basic sentence boundaries to separate the main sections. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors frequently make meaning unclear. The opening contains a sentence fragment beginning “has become,” while “because there mind have not any issue” has problems with sentence structure, agreement and possessive form. Other examples include “people who has stuck in ear issues” and “Recently, i went to hospital i saw,” where verb forms, articles and punctuation need attention. Practise writing clear subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles, tense and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.