Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A group of individuals believe that a great way to get a large amount of people on board is music as it connects people belonging from the different geographical and cultural backgrounds. Although

I accept the valiidity of this opinion but I believe that there are some limitations.

To begin with, i firmly acknowledge that music has played a very povital role in order to have a large amount of people on same platform to support some subjective narratives. For instance, In the past artists had made songs containing significant lyrics against some sort of genocides and listeners responded to the song supporting the artist's viewpoint.

But on the other hand, music had also played a role where artists provoked people towards a false ideology which caused controversies.In the history, there are events available where a drastic community of people, supporting the false viewpoint of the music artist were seen doing violent protests. Moreover there's a genre in music called as a rap music which is very well known for it's beef culture. ' Beef culture ' in simple is a collection of music samples containing hate speeches and poking against a specific artist.

In the light of the argument presented, I firmly believe that the statement is accurate that it can bring a huge amount of people together but getting people together solely isn't enough there's some more effort required regarding the inspection of the music and in order to filter the artist's lyrics so that there wouldn't any kind of trouble caused by the music and people will use it as a source of entertainment only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is identifiable: you accept that music can unite people, while arguing that it can also promote harmful ideas. The examples of songs opposing genocide and music associated with violent protests are relevant to this discussion. However, the response focuses mainly on music’s influence on groups and ideology, rather than directly explaining how it brings people of different cultures and ages together. The claim about rap and “beef culture” is also not clearly connected to differences in age or culture, and the examples are asserted rather than explained. To strengthen the response, address both age and cultural differences explicitly, develop a specific example of people sharing music across those groups, and clarify how your qualification shapes your overall degree of agreement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “To begin with” and “But on the other hand” signal the intended progression. However, the argument’s development is not consistently clear: the first body paragraph discusses songs supporting a viewpoint, while the second shifts to harmful ideology and rap without fully linking these points to the question of bringing different ages and cultures together. Some transitions feel mechanical, and the conclusion introduces the idea of inspecting and filtering lyrics without having developed that proposal earlier. Improve progression by giving each paragraph one clear purpose, using explicit links between examples and your position, and ensuring the conclusion summarises rather than adds a new recommendation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “geographical and cultural backgrounds,” “genocides,” “ideology,” and “controversies.” These choices show an effort to discuss abstract ideas, but several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision. For example, “a large amount of people on board” and “support some subjective narratives” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “a drastic community” is also unclear. Spelling and word-form slips such as “valiidity” and “povital” further affect control. Aim for precise, conventional collocations and check spelling carefully. Replacing vague or awkward phrases with direct wording will make your argument easier to follow and allow your stronger topic vocabulary to have more impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although I accept … but I believe” and a longer concluding sentence with a purpose clause. However, some sentence structures are faulty or difficult to control. The opening sentence has an unclear construction, and “Although … but” combines two contrasting structures unnecessarily. Other examples include “there wouldn’t any kind of trouble caused” and “listeners responded to the song supporting the artist’s viewpoint,” where the grammatical relationships are unclear. There are also inconsistent capitalisation and punctuation choices, such as “i” and missing spaces after full stops. Work on forming complete clauses, using one appropriate contrast structure at a time, and checking verb forms and sentence boundaries.

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