Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Nowadays in every individual's life music is a supporting agent, it allows peoples from different culutres and ages to come togather.To some extent few people agree with this thinking, whereas other do not agree. In this essay will discuss about both the side and will include my opinion.
On one hand, many peoples thinks that music can form an attachement among their livlihood, because
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The opening identifies the topic and signals that you will discuss differing views, but the response does not develop an answer to the question or establish a clear position on how far you agree. The only supporting idea begins, “music can form an attachement,” and then stops, so there is no explanation or relevant example showing how music brings people of different cultures or ages together. The response also ends before addressing the other side or giving a conclusion. The required minimum of 250 words is not met: the response contains 64 words. To improve, state your degree of agreement directly, explain two relevant reasons, support them with specific examples, and complete the essay with a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is an attempt to organise the response: the introduction previews a discussion, and “On one hand” signals the start of a body paragraph. These markers give the reader a basic sense of intended structure. However, the essay is incomplete, so ideas do not progress into a developed argument, and the promised discussion of both sides never appears. The opening also says “In this essay will discuss,” without a clear subject, which makes the transition awkward. The body paragraph ends abruptly after “because,” leaving the relationship between the claim and its support unfinished. Plan a complete introduction, separate body paragraphs for your main reasons, and a conclusion; use linking phrases to show relationships between fully expressed ideas rather than relying on signposts alone.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “music,” “cultures,” “ages,” and “attachement,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, the range is very limited, and several spelling or word-choice problems reduce accuracy: “culutres,” “togather,” “peoples,” and “livlihood” are not correctly formed for the intended meanings. “Supporting agent” is also an unnatural phrase in this context; a more natural expression would be “a unifying force.” Because the response is so short and the main idea is unfinished, there is little evidence of flexible vocabulary or precise discussion of the topic. Build a small bank of accurate phrases such as “shared musical interests,” “bridge cultural differences,” and “bring generations together,” and check spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
You attempt a compound sentence in the opening and use a subordinate clause in “because,” showing some effort to move beyond simple statements. However, the range is narrow, and errors in basic sentence construction and agreement are evident. “In this essay will discuss” is missing a subject, while “many peoples thinks” has an agreement problem; “other do not agree” also lacks plural agreement. The final clause beginning “because” is incomplete, so it does not form a complete sentence. These issues make parts of the response awkward and prevent the ideas from being expressed fully. Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking that subjects and verbs agree and that every sentence is finished.
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