Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Music has become important role in todays society has sparked consideration discussion in recent years. Although some beleives by listening some music feel relax, other argue some of people feel head pain by listening loud music. in my opnion, i largly agree with listening some soft songs or romatic song can feel relaxed, and this essay will explain why.

The primary reason for my agreement is listnening some emotion song mind can feel relaxation and also satisfaction.For instance most of individual listen music when there are in depression, after listening some sad songs they feel good. This demonstrates that most of othere people have there own music test like some listen music soft or some DJ type musics. Moreover there are internation music festivals also which in India celebrate all over the the state.

Another compelling argument is old people like old musics that had played in their generation and todays Gen Z like a soft songs which touchs their heart statistics show that in todays generaton anuv jain is famous song writter and as well as singer. This clearly indicates that analysis . critics may argue musics also heared all over the world

in conclusion, i firmly agree that music popular all around the world especially in todays generation as we call them Gen Z due to music a good way of bring people of different culture and as well as ages together.While alternative views exist different culture bring people together . Adressing the issue effectively require sometimes music listening daily is harmfull for ears.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“i largly agree”—and return to agreement in the conclusion, while offering relevant points about music helping listeners feel better and appealing to different generations. However, the response only partially addresses the specific claim that music brings people of different cultures and ages together. The discussion focuses mainly on relaxation, depression, and musical preferences; the India festival reference is not explained as evidence of cultural connection, and the example about Anuv Jain does not clearly show how music unites age groups. Several claims are incomplete or unclear, including “This clearly indicates that analysis.” Develop two or three relevant reasons with specific explanations of how shared listening or events connect people across cultures and generations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and phrases such as “The primary reason” and “Another compelling argument” signal the intended structure. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are joined without clear explanation. For example, the move from people listening to sad songs to “music festivals” in India does not show how the examples support the same point. The sentence “This clearly indicates that analysis” interrupts the argument, and the final paragraph introduces a new warning about harm to ears rather than drawing together the main reasons. Use one central idea per paragraph, explain each example’s relevance, and make links between sentences explicit rather than relying mainly on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “music festivals,” “different culture,” “generation,” and “Gen Z,” and attempt phrases such as “emotion song” and “touchs their heart” to describe music’s effects. However, the range is limited and several word choices, collocations, and spellings make meaning unclear or unnatural: “music test” appears to mean musical taste, while “analysis” is left without a clear meaning. Repetition of “music,” “people,” and “feel” also limits precision. Build a more accurate set of expressions for the task, such as “shared musical experiences,” “cross-cultural connection,” and “appeal to different age groups.” Check spelling and word forms, and choose phrases that express the intended idea precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentence forms, including a contrast with “Although” and a reason introduced by “For instance,” but control is inconsistent and many sentences contain errors that make the relationships between ideas hard to understand. For example, “listnening some emotion song mind can feel relaxation” lacks a clear subject and has an incomplete grammatical pattern; “most of individual listen” also has problems with number and verb agreement. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are unreliable, as in the run-on opening and the conclusion’s joined sentences. There is little evidence of consistently controlled complex structures. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking articles, plurals, agreement, and punctuation in each sentence.

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