Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A number of individuals believe that music is a perfect method to make people from many backgrounds and ages together with the same interests .

In my opinion, it's depend on the people interests, for example many countries have the culture of the arts like music , consequently we find their people also interested in music and in this case i will strongly stand with the idea of music collect different individuals together .

For instance , music not only bring people together but also it can be the main reason to make them recognising the culture of each others. The clear evidence of that is the international musical cermoneies we find in it many different people from many different nationalities around the world.

But, in case of population who did't share the same interests , i tottaly disagree with the idea,because we won't expect this people can communicate with others in the tobic they did't like from the first place .

For example, some parents have to attend musical parties with their sons , while they did't interested in the content , these parents if the met others in the same party the can't share them the same interests .

In conclusion, music has many significant effects on people , for some it is the way to make them much more relax , recharge and recover their mental health .

So, we must take into consideration that music need to be well learned as it is the way of bringing people together .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a relevant, qualified response: music can connect people who share an interest, while it may not unite those who do not. The examples of international music events and parents attending concerts with their children support this position. However, the argument is only partly developed. The opening says music brings people together, but the qualification that this depends on people’s interests is not explained in enough depth, and the final point about relaxation and mental health does not clearly support the question about cultures and ages. Make your position consistent from the introduction to the conclusion, then explain how shared musical experiences help people understand different cultures or bridge age differences, using specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting examples, a contrasting point and a conclusion. Connectors such as “For instance,” “But,” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression is not always clear: the shift from music connecting people to its effects on mental health in the conclusion feels abrupt, and the final claim that music “need to be well learned” is not clearly linked to the preceding argument. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “these people” and “them” make relationships between people and ideas difficult to follow. Organise each body paragraph around one clear reason, and use more precise referencing and transitions to show how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “different nationalities,” “culture,” “interests,” and “mental health,” which allows the reader to understand the general topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “make people … together,” “music collect different individuals,” and “the content” when referring to music. Spelling errors, including “cermoneies,” “tottaly,” and “did't,” also reduce accuracy. These issues sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing music and social connection, and check spelling and word forms carefully. For example, use “bring people together” and “help people appreciate one another’s cultures.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “For instance” and a contrast introduced by “while.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction frequently affect clarity. Examples include “it's depend,” “music not only bring,” “they did't interested,” and “the can't share them the same interests.” Several sentences also run together or use punctuation awkwardly, as in the opening paragraph and “But, in case of population…”. Practise building accurate clauses before combining them: for example, “It depends on people’s interests” and “Some parents attend concerts with their children, although they are not interested in the music.” Proofread each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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