Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is no shadow of doubt that music brings people together from various communities and culture. This phenomena has significant amount of debate, I firmly believe that Music has the power to make people happy and keep them together. This essay will critically analyze this trend before drawing a logical conclusion.

The primary point that merits the serious consideration is that music is not just about songs but Art and Love also, which keeps our heart alive and full of emotions. This is largely because music is a tradition which may keep our culture and humanity alive. To exampify recently, there was a navratri festival where gujrati people organize garba dance and music party to celebrate and worship the goddess, where people participate and dance together on gujrati songs regardless of their diffrent culture, community, and religion, which shows the love and respect towards each other community and religion.

It is also evident that when a music launchs in a industry irrespective of other's community, religion's respect it may leads to heated controversy, harmful disputes and hate towards other community's culture and people. This is due to the fact that, music may contain some unappropriate and vulgur words which may be hated by others and not heathy for childrens, in that scenario it may create chaos. For instance, recently there was a song launched by hollywood industry disrespecting Indian culture so, it led to heated controversy in indian society by fans and media.

To recapitulate, i highly prefer that music is another love language to make people happy however, sometimes, it also leads to other's person discomfort.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is broadly clear: you agree that music can unite people, while acknowledging that some songs may cause offence. The Navratri example is relevant and helps show how people from different backgrounds can participate together. However, the response only partly develops the question: it gives little explanation of how music brings different age groups together, and the opposing point about controversy takes substantial space without being clearly linked to the overall extent of your agreement. The introduction promises to “critically analyze this trend,” but the discussion remains general and the conclusion does not specify how far you agree. Develop both cultures and ages with focused examples, then state your position consistently and explain the significance of each example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The examples are placed in relevant paragraphs, and phrases such as “This is largely because” and “For instance” attempt to connect claims with support. However, progression between ideas is sometimes unclear: the second body paragraph shifts from music uniting people to music causing controversy, without explaining how this qualifies your agreement. Some linking phrases sound formulaic, including “The primary point that merits the serious consideration” and “To recapitulate.” Long sentences also make relationships between points difficult to follow, particularly in the Navratri example. Use simpler topic sentences, make the contrast explicit, and divide lengthy explanations into clearer sentences with precise referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related and formal vocabulary, including “tradition,” “heated controversy,” “discomfort,” and “regardless of.” These choices help communicate both the unifying and potentially divisive effects of music. However, the range is not consistently controlled, and several spelling and word-choice errors distract the reader: “exampify,” “diffrent,” “unappropriate,” and “vulgur” are examples. Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “music launchs in a industry” and “another love language.” Repeated use of “community,” “culture,” and “people” limits variety. Build accuracy by checking spelling and choosing natural collocations, and use more precise terms for the groups, events, and effects you discuss.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt complex sentences, especially when explaining the festival example and the possible effects of offensive lyrics. However, these structures are often faulty, and errors sometimes make the relationships between ideas harder to understand. For example, “This phenomena has significant amount of debate” has problems with agreement and article use, while “it may leads to heated controversy” uses an incorrect verb form. There are also issues with sentence boundaries and punctuation, such as the long Navratri sentence, which contains several ideas joined together. Capitalisation is inconsistent, as in “Music” and “i.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb patterns, and split complex explanations into shorter sentences before attempting more elaborate structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.