Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era, it is widely spread that various individuals contemplate that music is the beneficial idea of bringing persons of similar cultures and ages together. i strongly agree with this statement due to the fact that music play a vital role in the development of mankind and bringing happiness on various faces and however there are various steps to deciding to do this.

To commence with, there are numerous positive aspects of supporting this idea. initially, music is the marvellous method of bringing individuals together of different ages and on some occassion same age group.For instance when individuals go to the concerts various different age groups come to the concert and at that concert it's a excellent way of making friends due to the fact that their thoughts and ideas are same and they talk with each other after some time they make friends. Moreover, when individuals listen different cultural songs and various other songs of that country neverthelles they want to learn more about the history and culture of that country and in future if a person will visit that country so he love the people and culture of that country ans easily adopt the culture of that country.Such as various punjabi masses like foreign music and foreign like punjabi and when they both meet their vibes match and make friends.

However, there are various drawbacks. first and foremost citizens utilize their maximum time on music and i contemplate that it's not beneficial for the people although they do not spend time with their families. Additionally, numerous masses own the culture of other countries and forget their own traditional culture and apply those rules in their life which have no positive and useful aspects.

To sum up my discussion, i would say that life without music is like as a library without books and i contemplate that music play a vital role in our society although it's the excellent way of bringing people together of different age groups and culture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You clearly state your position—“i strongly agree”—and give relevant reasons, including concerts as places to meet people and music as a way to learn about another culture. The examples about Punjabi and foreign music also help connect the discussion to real situations. You address a counterpoint by noting that music can take time away from family and that people may neglect their own traditions. However, these drawbacks are not fully connected to your overall agreement, and the claim that listeners “easily adopt” another culture needs explanation. Develop each main point with a clearer cause-and-effect link or a specific example, and make the relationship between your counterargument and final position more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting your view, a paragraph presenting drawbacks, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To commence with,” “Moreover,” and “To sum up” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some links feel mechanical, and several ideas run together within long sentences, particularly the concert example and the discussion of cultural songs. The shift to drawbacks is clear, but the connection between those drawbacks and your strong agreement could be signposted more carefully. Use one main idea per sentence, group supporting details together, and use pronouns or linking phrases only when their reference is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of vocabulary related to the topic, including “development of mankind,” “traditional culture,” and “history and culture.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic statements. However, several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “it is widely spread,” “the beneficial idea,” and “bringing happiness on various faces.” Repetition of “various,” “individuals,” and “country” also limits flexibility, while spelling errors such as “occassion” and “neverthelles” reduce accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and more precise wording, and check spelling carefully. This will make your meaning easier to follow and help you express cultural connection more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “when,” “although,” and “due to the fact that.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries, and punctuation occur in several places. For example, “music play a vital role” should be “music plays a vital role,” and “it's a excellent way” should be “it’s an excellent way.” The sentence beginning “Moreover, when individuals listen…” contains several ideas joined without clear grammatical control. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and divide long sentences into shorter, complete units; this will improve clarity while preserving your attempts at complex structures.

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