Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, some people believe that music is a good way of bringing people together, people from different cultures, traditions, religions, languages and ages together. In my view, I completely agree with the opinion of music brings people, together no matter from which background they are. Further, I would like to highlight my idea in the essay below.

Firstly, music is a good way to connect people from different parts of globe no matter from which background they belong even people with different languages, cultures, traditions and religions come together under one roof when it comes to listening music. For instance, BTS band from korea has a cult following all over the world and people from Pakistan, Germany, and Japan go in their concerts every year.

This statement defines my prespective of how music brings people of different culture.

Secondly, people with different age groups like kids, adults, middle-aged, and older people listen to music from different languages too because they might not understand the lyrics but they definetly love the vibe of the music and they enjoy on beats. Furthermore, people with different ages loves to listen music which tends to motivate them to do their work, study or business. For example, patients in hospitals when go through surgery they often listen to music first through which they feel relaxed and their mood becomes happier too. Further elaboration of my statement justifies the opinion on how music is a good way of bringing people closer.

In conclusion, I completely believe that music brings people closer from different cultures and ages. Festivals, concerts, and cinemas are the real example of how people listen music from different ethnicites and hollywood and bollywood is another prime example of how people pay to listen their music through spotify's yearly subscription.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you completely agree that music can bring people of different cultures and ages together. You address both aspects of the prompt, using the BTS example to illustrate cross-cultural appeal and hospital music to show how people of different ages may benefit. These are relevant ideas, but some are less fully developed than others. The hospital example mainly explains relaxation during surgery rather than how music connects age groups, and the final references to festivals, cinemas and streaming subscriptions are listed without explaining their significance. Develop each example by showing specifically how shared listening creates interaction or a sense of belonging.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally follow a sensible order from cultural differences to age differences. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes weakened by repetitive or mechanical linking. Phrases such as “Further elaboration of my statement” and “This statement defines my perspective” announce an explanation without adding a clear connection between ideas. The conclusion also introduces several examples without linking them into a final synthesis. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each claim and its example explicit; clearer referencing would also help readers follow what “this statement” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “cult following,” “lyrics,” “vibe,” “ethnicities” and “subscription,” and the meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated wording such as “brings people together,” “different,” and “music,” while several choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal for an academic essay. For example, “go in their concerts” and “enjoy on beats” do not express the intended ideas naturally, and “prime example” is not clearly supported by the streaming reference that follows. Aim for more precise phrasing and vary key terms, while checking spelling and collocations. This would make the argument clearer and more appropriately academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and readers can usually understand the main points. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in agreement, articles, verb patterns and sentence construction. Examples include “people with different ages loves,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “people … go in their concerts,” where the verb pattern is faulty. The opening also contains an awkwardly joined phrase: “I completely agree with the opinion of music brings people.” Some sentences run together or use punctuation unclearly, as in the first body paragraph. Practise building accurate complex sentences with clear clauses, and check subject–verb agreement and article use during revision.

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