Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In my opinion i totally agree with this opinion that this the best way to gether people from different cultures through music

and the best example i give you is that i am from sindh and i study in namal university of mianwali punjab and a lot of student came from different areas and cultures from pakistan some of them came from kpk,some of from sindh,some of from balochistan, some of from punjab, and some of from kashmir . to bring them all together is the way to make a cultural program in university so that everyone represent their culture through performing some activity releted their culture .

when the kashmiri perform his cultures any activity the other all the people came from different culture see that performance and those people who came from different culture also oartucipate in other culture just to make a great gathering and enjoyable moments to the most beautiful part of life . that is the biggest reason to bring all to different culture to gather and the main reason to gather these all people is the music to and this the one the best way to make every cultures moment memorable to enjoy the moment and music of every different culture that are performing their culture with their on own language music that is very good to listen that music is from another culture like pakhtoon perfom attan on their cultural music and saraiki perfom jhumar and this the reason to combine different cultures.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear from the opening: you strongly agree that music can bring people together. The university example is relevant and gives the response a personal basis, with students from Sindh, KPK, Balochistan, Punjab and Kashmir sharing performances such as attan and jhumar. However, the task is only partly addressed because the discussion focuses mainly on cultural differences; the role of music in bringing people of different ages together is not explained. The example is also repeated rather than developed with specific details about how music helps people connect. To strengthen the response, address both cultures and ages, and explain the effects of shared musical activities on relationships.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable line of thought: you state your opinion, describe a university cultural programme, and give examples of regional dances. This helps the reader identify your main point. However, the ideas are presented in one long, largely unbroken paragraph, and the progression becomes difficult to follow as several points are joined together. Repeated phrases such as “different culture” and “bring all” do not clearly show how one idea relates to the next. Use separate paragraphs for your position, example and conclusion, and organise the example in a clear sequence: introduce the event, describe the performances, then explain how music encourages interaction. A few precise linking phrases would make the relationships between ideas clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “cultural program,” “performance,” “gathering,” and the names of regional dances. These details help communicate the setting and show an attempt to discuss music and culture specifically. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “different culture” and “the reason to bring.” Spelling and word-choice errors, including “releted,” “oartucipate,” and “perfom,” also make parts of the response harder to read. Aim for more precise expressions for the relationship between music and people, and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe students as “sharing musical traditions” and explain that this “creates a sense of connection.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express connected ideas and give examples, but sentence structures are mostly long strings joined with “and,” so the range is limited. Frequent errors in sentence formation and punctuation make some passages difficult to follow. For instance, “when the kashmiri perform his cultures any activity” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while the opening has no capital “I” and runs into the next idea without a full stop. There are also problems with articles, agreement and verb forms, as in “a lot of student came” and “the kashmiri perform.” Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add controlled complex sentences using “when,” “because” or “which.”

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