Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Music is considered very beneficial for moving the populous close together which is associated with the variety of various cultures and generations. I strongly believe in this statement because this type of ties are developing strongly in different parts of the world as the music industry expands. This essay will discuss the significance and the reasons related to this argument.

Generally, music is thought out to be the peace and calm of souls owing to its lovers residing in different countries of this modern world. Although, generations are connected with one other through boarders just for the sake of their similar tastes in music, as well as their favorite singers living miles apart. This is exemplified as, K-pop are the Korean industry music and they have different bands that generates vibrant music and songs. However, individuals of every age group are attracted towards them and these people are now called BTS army. Hence, this also boosts up the Korean economy and their country is now famous all over the world because of their fans.

On the contrary, the con for this much love for music has been developed so much and its is now misused and people are becoming habitual and dependent on this. For example, young generation is currently in deep water because of this overdependency on music. Some of them event do not even concentrate on their studies and they have ruined their habits due to such distractions. This will lead to the mental disorders and hearing loss in young population.

In a nutshell, if these distractions would be limited then its pros always outweighs the cons of becoming a music lover. It would be definitely beneficial for countries to stronger their ties in order to enhance the relationship and economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that music can connect people across cultures and generations. The K-pop example gives relevant support, showing how listeners of different ages and countries share an interest and how this can raise a country’s profile. You also introduce a counterpoint about overuse and its effects on young people. However, the discussion of distraction, mental health and hearing loss is only loosely connected to the question of bringing people together, and the claim that music strengthens economic ties needs clearer explanation. Develop the central argument with a specific example of people interacting or forming relationships through music, and explain how each example supports your position. This would make the response more fully developed across the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main position is easy to identify. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “Hence” and “In a nutshell” help signal stages in the discussion. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear: “On the contrary” introduces a drawback rather than a directly opposing view, while “this also boosts up” does not clearly identify what “this” refers to. The second body paragraph shifts from music’s social benefits to its possible harms without explaining how that point relates to the question. Use more precise referencing and transitions, and make each paragraph’s central idea explicit so the argument progresses more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “generations,” “overdependency,” “distractions” and “economy,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. There are also some noticeable word-choice and collocation problems that make parts sound unnatural, such as “moving the populous close together,” “the peace and calm of souls,” “boarders” and “stronger their ties.” Some phrases are also imprecise: “deep water” does not clearly describe the students’ situation, and “BTS army” needs clearer context for a general reader. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than more elaborate wording. For example, use “bring people closer,” “cross borders,” and “strengthen ties”; check spelling and choose vocabulary that expresses the intended idea directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional in “if these distractions would be limited” and a subordinate clause beginning “because.” However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction occur in several places. For instance, “K-pop are” should take a singular verb when referring to the music genre, and “bands that generates” has a plural-subject agreement error. The sentence beginning “Although, generations are connected” is not a complete, well-formed contrast, and “its pros always outweighs” has a subject–verb agreement problem. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise building accurate complex sentences and check each subject against its verb, as well as punctuation around introductory clauses.

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