Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Music plays a vital role in shapping individuals mind, it creates a social embrace among different cultures and make them together. While some oppose this statement by providing issues like moral degradation, I largely agree with this because of the potential benefits it offers such as expressing one's cultures towards others,potend the social bond. In this essay I will explain both of the aspects and reach a conclusion.

Music is one of the oldest methods of representating culture,language and social status to others. There are various kinds of songs available which have a distinct perspectives. It creates the opportunity to engage peoples with different cultures and different thoughts. Moreover, people of all ages have a similar thoughts about music, so it often fosters community engagement.

In addition, people from all walks of life regardless of their financial situation, cast, religion enjoy music, which creates a scence of accomplishment among them. Also it depicts one region's culture to different country .

On the other hand , criticts often bring up the fundamentalist ideology. They believe that using music for that kind of purpose provoke moral degradation. Not only that, but also they aslo speak about if a community become interested in overseas music this lead to cultural erosion.

In conclusion, it can be said that, the phenomenon although has some downside, it fosters community engagements, potends the social embrace,and effects the society to become communal. It acts a source of accoplishment between all people regardless of ages

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You state a clear general position—“I largely agree”—and give relevant reasons, including music’s role in sharing culture and bringing people together across social groups. However, the response only partially develops the task: claims such as “people of all ages have a similar thoughts” and music creating “a sense of accomplishment” are asserted rather than explained or supported with a specific example. The opposing view about moral degradation and cultural erosion is introduced, but its relevance and your response to it remain unclear. The conclusion repeats the main claim without adding a developed final judgement. The response is also four words below the required minimum, so it does not meet the task’s length requirement. Develop each main reason with explanation and a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, supporting paragraphs, a counterargument and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “In addition,” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships between points. However, progression is limited because several ideas are listed without showing how they support the central argument; for example, the point about financial situation, caste and religion is followed by a brief statement about regional culture rather than a developed explanation. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the shift from music’s benefits to “fundamentalist ideology.” The introduction promises to explain “both of the aspects,” but the discussion does not clearly balance or resolve them. Use topic sentences and clearer links between each claim, its explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “social embrace,” “cultural erosion,” “moral degradation” and “community engagement,” which shows an effort to discuss the issue beyond basic terms. However, the range is limited by repeated or imprecise expressions, and several word choices make the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “potends the social bond” and “effects the society to become communal” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “a source of accomplishment” is also unclear in this context. Spelling errors such as “shapping,” “representating” and “accoplishment” further reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Replacing vague phrases with direct wording about cultural exchange, shared experiences and social cohesion would make your argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including “While some oppose this statement…” and “regardless of their financial situation…,” but the range is limited and complex constructions are often faulty. Errors occur in agreement and sentence structure: “music … make them together” should use a singular verb and a clearer construction, while “people … have a similar thoughts” has a number mismatch. The sentence beginning “Not only that, but also they…” is awkwardly formed, and “if a community become interested … this lead” contains errors in verb agreement and clause structure. Punctuation and spacing are also inconsistent, with spaces before commas and full stops. These recurring problems sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer sentences with controlled clauses.

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