Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

So the topic is about Is music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages or not ? . So different people have different opinion through this regards but i think that music is the good way to bring people together . Almost al the people in the world enjoy to listen the music and different people spoke different languages. In this way they will be able to understand different people and also their languages . Now a days almost all people including mens , womens, childrens and also olds were seem to listen music . Through this we can understand that how music is connected to people . When people listen music in different languages they became attached to the other languages as well . They understand that how beautiful of our culture is, which represent different religions , culture and languages . .

Now this is the age of modern science , every person including parents were busy in thier own work . So, they do not evenhave the time for their family members . So most of the people espacilly students spare their free time in their hobbies some introvert students prefer music to spent their time . Even i experince this thing when there is no body around me and i feel alone i listen music . In this way i enjoy my self by listening music in different languages . Through this i will be able to know how many languages exist and how i connect to all these languages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear opinion that music brings people together, and you give relevant points about listening across languages and using music when feeling alone. However, the discussion only partly answers how music unites people of different cultures and ages: the claim that listeners become attached to other languages is not explained with a specific example, and the family-time point is not clearly connected to music’s role across generations. The response also ends without a developed conclusion. The required minimum was not met: the response contains 246 words, and 13 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each main reason with a concrete example and explain its link to both age groups and cultures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall sequence: the first paragraph discusses music and languages, while the second shifts to people’s free time and your personal experience. This gives the reader some sense of direction, but the progression between ideas is often unclear. For example, the move from parents being busy to students choosing music does not show how music brings generations together. Linking phrases such as “In this way” and “Through this” recur without always making the relationship between ideas clear, and the response lacks a concluding paragraph that gathers the argument. Use clearer topic sentences, organise each paragraph around one reason, and make the connection between examples and your position explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “different languages,” “culture,” “religions,” “introvert students,” and “free time,” so the main topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, particularly “different languages” and “In this way.” Some word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “enjoy to listen the music,” “spare their free time in their hobbies,” and “attached to the other languages.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “experince,” “thier,” and “espacilly,” also reduce control. Build a wider set of precise phrases for cultural exchange and shared experiences, and check spelling and natural word combinations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences using connectors such as “when,” “because,” and “in this way,” but most structures are simple, and errors occur frequently. The opening question, “Is music is a good way… or not?”, has faulty word order and an unnecessary repeated verb. Other examples include “different people spoke different languages,” “they became attached,” and “there is no body around me,” where tense, agreement, or sentence construction is inaccurate. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “the music” and “mens, womens, childrens.” These errors sometimes make the intended relationships harder to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled subordinate clauses, and proofread verb forms, articles, agreement, and punctuation.

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