Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Yes ,I agree with this opinion bcz i really belive in music . I belive that music is a way in which you can do anything or you can ask anything to next person in any language of which you are not able to ask them in your own words. No doubt that music is agood way of bringing peoples of diffrent ages and cultures together but its also have disadvantages In this way because many peoples belive in their own taste so they donot ike others languages and tastes.I personally like music and belive that as music is similar to musician and its also have same effects. In the modern era there are many tates of music that have been created and also that tastes have increadeable effect on their lesoners.music is a type of lessoning that we enjoy so being enjoying something together brings happiness in us .We have been living in hostel for 7 years so whenever there was amusical night all of us from diffrent cultures get together and enjoy alot.we all respect the language of each other cultures and enjoy too much.also when aged peoples get together they use music to bring happiness among themselves .They use it as a happiness creating tool.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear at the start: you agree that music can bring people together, and the hostel musical-night example is relevant and personal. You also acknowledge a possible drawback, noting that people may prefer their own musical tastes. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the discussion of how music bridges cultures is general, and the point about older people is asserted rather than illustrated or explained. The relationship between music and communication across languages is also difficult to follow. The response is 42 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop reasons and examples. Extend your main points with specific details and explain how each example supports your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from your opinion to a personal example and then a point about older people, but the response is presented as one long paragraph, so its stages are not clearly separated. Connections between ideas are sometimes abrupt: “No doubt” introduces a qualification, while “In this way” does not clearly show what it refers to. Repeated use of “also” and “so” makes the links feel mechanical, and several ideas run together without clear punctuation. Organise the response into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for your reasons or examples, and a conclusion. Use linking phrases only where they clarify the relationship between ideas, and make references such as “this” or “it” explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “different cultures,” “musical night,” and “language,” and the hostel example gives you a useful context for discussing music. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “belive,” “lesoners,” and “tates.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “music is similar to musician” and “happiness creating tool” do not clearly convey your intended meaning. Repetition of “music,” “enjoy,” and “happiness” further limits variety. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases, such as “shared musical experience” and “cross-cultural connection,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use clauses to explain your opinion, for example, “because many peoples belive in their own taste.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “its also have disadvantages” and “all of us … get together and enjoy,” while missing or incorrect articles and sentence boundaries affect readability. The opening also joins several ideas with commas rather than forming clear sentences. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses using “because,” “although,” or “when.” Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation, especially when a sentence contains more than one main idea.

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