Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Certain individuals argue that music is a better way to fetching individuals of various cultures and ages together. I strongly disagree with this statement. In this essay, i will dicuss why i am disegree with this argue.

All culture have not same rules in some religions music is forbidden moreover, all individuals do not understand other languages so, they can not understand lyrics. For instance, in islam listening music is baned for all muslims and almost one of the biggest religion in the world is islam consequentily, music can not gring muslims. Language of the whole world is not same so, it is also problem. For instance, hindi songs are very popular and attractive but indian individuals can not bring together English people with hindi individuals on the behalf of music because they do not understand hindi language.

Some of the individuals get anxiety from listening to music and it can also become a resion of accident moreover, it starts pain in some individuals. Susic can make a man addictive in some situations so, many individuals do not like it. For instance, mumping music during drive is very normal reasion of accident it can also ban during drive but, drivers cab violate that rule very essaly. Loud music for some people can cause health diseases in some situations. for instance, a bload pressure patient can not listen loud music it can harmful for him.

To sum up, music is not for every individual due to several resions so, it can not being people together in one culture or on one perspective while, it true that many people listen music but fetching together is not possible from my point of view.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly disagree that music brings people together, and you give reasons involving religious restrictions, language differences, and possible effects on listeners. The examples about Hindi songs and people who avoid music help connect your points to the topic. However, the response addresses the claim only partially because it mainly explains why music may not unite everyone, rather than considering whether it can bring some groups together despite these limits. Several claims are broad or insufficiently explained, such as the assertion that music cannot bring Muslims together. To strengthen the response, acknowledge the opposing view and develop a more precise example showing when music does or does not bridge cultural or age differences.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph focuses on a general reason, which gives the reader some organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several ideas are joined in long strings with repeated connectors such as “moreover,” “so,” and “for instance.” The second paragraph shifts from anxiety to accidents and then health effects without clearly explaining how each point supports the central argument. Some references are also unclear, including “it” in “it can also become a resion of accident.” Use shorter, clearly punctuated sentences, organise each paragraph around one main point, and explain the link between evidence and your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “cultures,” “lyrics,” “anxiety,” and “health diseases,” and you attempt to express ideas about religion, language, and safety. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes strain understanding. Examples include “fetching” for bringing, “disegree,” “baned,” “gring,” and “mumping.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “starts pain” and “on the behalf of music.” These issues make several sentences harder to interpret, even when the intended point can be inferred. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases and check spelling and collocations carefully; for example, use “cause pain” and “while driving” rather than the forms in your response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons and examples, but control of sentence structure is limited. Errors in agreement and sentence formation occur repeatedly, as in “All culture have not same rules” and “music can not being people together.” Articles and verb forms are also often missing or incorrect, for example, “in islam listening music is baned” and “it can harmful for him.” Several sentences join independent ideas with commas or connectors without clear punctuation, which makes the relationships between points difficult to follow. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses using forms such as “because” and “although.” Careful editing for agreement, articles, and complete verb phrases would improve clarity.

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