Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely argued that music brings indviduals togather from different culture and ethnicities. While there is some merit to this view, I partially agree that it can create a deeper divide, for the reasons outlined below.

The principle reason for this view is that music brings unity among different nations and ethnicities, largely because people from different parts of the globe can understand each other easily. This is further reinforced by the fact that music acts as a bridge between different countries because you do not need to speak the language to enjoy the beat or feeling. A notable example of this is evident in Pakistan, when we are listening to Russian music, we are enjoying it so much, although we didn't understand the language. This clearly demonstrates that how much it is paramount to the well being to hear intercontintental music.

A further consideration is that foreign music can create sometimes a gap between different ages of the people in a society, primarily due to older people where they were grown up with the local music and like indigenous music. Critics might argue that its not a major problem; however this overlooks the fact that it creates imbalance in the community, as elder people are the most respected ones. Consequently, it becomes evident that global music has also minor drawbacks, as it does not fit easily in a nation.

In conclusion, although abroad music has a lots of advantages, as it acts as a bridge among the societies, I maintain that it has also adverse effects because of the reasons discussed below.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the topic and give a partly clear position: music can unite people across countries, but foreign music may create an age-related divide. The Russian-music example is relevant and helps illustrate how listeners can enjoy music without understanding its language. However, the response develops the unifying effect more fully than the claimed drawback, and the link between foreign music and a “gap” between generations is asserted rather than explained with a concrete situation or example. The opening also says music can create a “deeper divide,” while the conclusion mainly describes “minor drawbacks,” so your degree of agreement is not fully consistent. Explain more precisely how music brings different ages together, as well as cultures, and support both sides with clearer reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly separate the benefit from the drawback. Linking phrases such as “A further consideration” and “In conclusion” help signal the structure. However, progression within the argument is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from unity to an example and then to a broad claim about well-being without fully connecting these points. The second paragraph’s claim that foreign music creates a generational gap also needs clearer explanation. Some transitions feel formulaic, and “for the reasons discussed below” in the conclusion points backwards awkwardly. Build each paragraph around one main claim, explain it step by step, and use references and transitions that make the relationship between ideas explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “unity,” “bridge,” “indigenous music,” and “adverse effects,” which gives you some range beyond basic wording. However, several noticeable spelling and word-choice problems reduce precision, such as “indviduals,” “togather,” “intercontintental,” and “abroad music.” Some combinations are also unnatural or unclear, including “the well being to hear intercontintental music” and “a lots of advantages.” These choices can make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than using more elaborate expressions where the meaning is uncertain. Proofread spelling carefully and choose straightforward phrases such as “international music” or “well-being” when they express your point more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and attempts at complex structures, including clauses introduced by “because,” “although,” and “as.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately. For example, “This clearly demonstrates that how much it is paramount” has an incorrect clause structure, while “older people where they were grown up” contains faulty clause construction and verb form. There are also errors in agreement and articles, as in “a lots of advantages,” and tense use shifts in “we are listening” and “we didn't understand.” Work on forming subordinate clauses and maintaining consistent tense, then check articles, plurals and punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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