Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Yes, Music is good for relaxing or brining all the peoples even who belongs to other cultures or even peoples have age differences, But music didn't see that music is for all because this is not just a music this is an emotions to do it peoples understanding.

Music is free for all and the when the musician sing their song they have a lot of happiness and encouragement on it due to focus on their music.

Many peoples didn't like music but on my perspective all the peoples need to listen music on free time when they want to relaxing their minds their stress or work load.

I have an example that is one of my friend love music or sing the songs, They have knowledge about how to play music or how to understand the music they also listened the old musicians to feel their music and learned from their and then they tried to play music and one of my friend they didn't like music, When they listened the music they said please stop it because i didn't like i have no knowledge about music or i have no feelings to feel the music concepts the lines.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the topic by agreeing that music can connect people across cultures and ages, and you offer a personal example involving friends with different attitudes to music. However, your position is not developed clearly: the opening says music brings people together, but the example mainly contrasts someone who enjoys music with someone who dislikes it, rather than showing people being united. The reasons are also brief and general, such as music helping people relax. The response contains 200 words, so it does not meet the required minimum of 250. To strengthen the response, state your degree of agreement directly, explain how shared music creates connection, and develop a relevant example with more detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you begin with your view, add general comments about music, and then give an example. This gives the reader some sense of the topic and direction. However, ideas are not arranged coherently throughout, and the long final paragraph combines several points without clear progression. Connections such as “I have an example” and “and then” are simple, while repeated use of “music” and “peoples” makes the flow feel repetitive. Some references are also unclear, particularly the shifts between “one of my friend,” “they,” and “one of my friend they.” Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons, and example, and make each sentence build clearly on the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic but relevant to the subject, with words such as “cultures,” “age differences,” “musician,” “stress,” and “knowledge.” These allow you to communicate the general topic and your personal example. However, the range is repetitive, and several word choices or collocations make meaning difficult to follow, including “this is an emotions to do it peoples understanding” and “relaxing their minds their stress or work load.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “brining” and “peoples” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check that words fit their grammatical and contextual roles; for example, describe music as a shared experience that can help people connect.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a sentence beginning “I have an example,” but control is limited and errors are frequent enough to make parts of the response difficult to understand. For instance, “Many peoples didn’t like music” uses an inconsistent plural form and tense, while “one of my friend love music” has problems with number and subject–verb agreement. The opening sentence also runs several ideas together, with unclear clause structure and punctuation. Most sentences rely on basic patterns, and the longer ones are often not controlled. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas using accurate clauses. Check articles, agreement, and consistent present-tense forms when describing general opinions.

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