Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In my view, I completely agree with the statement. Music is a form of art with brings people together who appreciate art whether it's from their culture or whether it's from another culture.

Music has always been divided into era's and traditions. In some cultures music is worshipped like god and is considered a divine form of expressing their feelings. Through the years music have changed into something better always. Every type of music , song or an instrument can be played by anybody who can play it better. The beats, the meaning or sometimes the singer , many people enjoy music throughly based on whatever they like and prefer.

Another significant advantage of music is , that it introduces us to different types of cultures and traditions of other countries. It has given us some legendary Musicians , Dancers and singers. Some of the famous singers are known worldwide for example: Micheal Jackson. Their art form sets them free from the boundaries. They too server to their nation in the form of music.

However, some people thinks that music should be made within their limitations and should have the access to of their own people. For a long time, entry in the music industry was based onto where you've came from or what language do you speak. Although, some are hesitant because of the language barrier which causes confusion between listener.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that music should be accessible to every individual . now days, we have musical platforms like Spotify or Apple music , where we can find any type of music and songs from all over the world. In that way , music can be a form of respect whock we give by accepting other cultures.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear from the opening—“I completely agree”—and the response stays focused on music connecting people across cultures. You give relevant points about shared appreciation, international artists and access through streaming platforms. However, the support is often general: Michael Jackson is named, but the essay does not explain how his music brought different age groups or cultures together. The discussion of language barriers and limits on access introduces a counterpoint, but its relationship to your overall argument is not fully explored. To strengthen the response, develop each main reason with a specific example and explain explicitly how music connects people of different ages as well as cultures; age is mentioned in the prompt but receives little direct attention.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally group related points, and transitions such as “Another significant advantage” and “However” help signal a change in direction. At times, though, the progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow: the second paragraph moves from musical eras to worship, change over time and personal preferences without showing how these points build on one another. Some links are also unclear, particularly “They too server to their nation,” where the reference and connection to the preceding sentence are hard to understand. Improve cohesion by organising each paragraph around one clear reason, using explicit links between claims and examples, and ensuring pronouns clearly refer to the intended people or ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “traditions,” “divine,” “language barrier” and “boundaries,” and the reader can generally understand your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems make the expression imprecise. For example, “music is worshipped like god” is an awkward comparison, while “sets them free from the boundaries” does not clearly express the intended idea. There are also noticeable spelling errors such as “Micheal,” “throughly” and “whock,” alongside informal phrasing such as “now days.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully; choosing vocabulary that directly expresses cultural exchange and shared enjoyment would make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a concession beginning “Although” and a relative clause in “people who appreciate art.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction sometimes make ideas harder to follow. Examples include “music have changed,” “some people thinks,” and “where you've came from.” The opening phrase “a form of art with brings people together” also has an incorrect relative structure, and “the access to of their own people” is grammatically unclear. Punctuation and spacing around commas and full stops are inconsistent as well. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and revise complex sentences to ensure each clause is complete and clearly connected.

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