Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the Contemporary era the effect of music on Variety of Cultures and Ages has become a focal point of discussion and analysis. Some individuals say that Music is an efficient way to Carrying people of diverse Cultures and Age groups.In my view, music is a positive way due to almost every person listen music of Various kinds and this essay will explore the aspects in detail.

Nowadays, music have unlimited varieties. Few likes Classical music and some likes Folk music it depends on their passion. Mostly young individuals like pop music & Aged people like Old Classical music. For example

Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival It features the variety of Melody sounds and taking people together.

Similarly, music directly affacts the lives. It doesn't matter which culture or age you are from.

Summarising the above details Clearly explain that which aspects bring the persons of Various cultures and Ages together.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your position is identifiable: you support the view that music brings people together, and you mention music’s appeal across cultures and ages. However, the response addresses the question only minimally. The example of Coachella is not explained to show how people of different ages or cultural backgrounds interact, and the statement that music affects everyone is not supported with a reason or a personal or relevant example. The final sentence restates the topic rather than drawing together developed points. The response is also 98 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to explain your reasons. To improve, state your extent of agreement clearly and develop at least two reasons with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening gives your view, the next paragraph introduces different musical preferences, and a final sentence tries to conclude. However, the ideas do not progress clearly from one point to the next. The opening promises to explore the issue, but the body offers only brief, disconnected statements, and the Coachella example is left unfinished rather than linked to your argument. “Similarly” does not introduce a clearly related or developed point, while “Summarising the above details” leads to a sentence that is difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for each reason, connect each example explicitly to your position, and finish with a clear conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “diverse cultures,” “Classical music,” “Folk music,” and “festival,” so the reader can recognise the subject. However, the range is limited, and several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “a focal point of discussion and analysis,” “an efficient way to Carrying people,” and “variety of Melody sounds.” Capitalisation is also inconsistent, with common words such as “Music” and “Various” unnecessarily capitalised. These issues make parts of the response less clear and less natural. Aim for precise, familiar collocations and use vocabulary that directly explains the social effect of music, such as shared experiences, cultural traditions, or a common interest.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response mainly uses short, simple statements, with limited evidence of varied sentence structures. Some sentences communicate a basic idea, but errors in verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction are frequent enough to cause difficulty. For example, “music have unlimited varieties” needs subject–verb agreement, and “Few likes Classical music and some likes Folk music” has incorrect verb forms and an unclear quantifier. The opening phrase “a way to Carrying people” also has an incorrect grammatical pattern, while “It doesn't matter which culture or age you are from” is not smoothly connected to the preceding point. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled complex sentences using “because,” “although,” and “for example.”

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