Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Although, some people think that music play a vital role for gathering all type of people with various tradition. In this eassy i will discouse both view and explain why i disagree with that statement.

On the one hand, some people think that if bringing people of different ages and cultures then the social berier will be vanished and both ages people feel their personal comfort. For example, when a big conseart arrenge by there authority then the people of community find there way of freedom, in this case it will help their reduce their strees and felt their comfort. For instance, in this occation they meet with varity of other cultural people and they learn about others communities cultures.

On the other hand, it is often believed that, the environment was damage by the croweded people such as people through their litter on the field and also the several people smoke a lot for this reason general people suffer a lot at that time. their will be many of type havey using instruments like giuter, piano, drums, etc. when it use by musician their make a heavy noice and it create noice pollution. as a result nearby have lot's of hospital and houses , there have older people they are don't tollaret the heavy noice it's maybe effect on their hearing abelity.

in conclusion , while people may vary in there option, i think that environment will suffer verious ways rather than learn new culture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear disagreement in the introduction and conclusion, and you include relevant points about cultural exchange and the possible effects of large concerts. However, the response only partially answers the question: the second body paragraph focuses on litter and noise rather than explaining whether music itself brings people of different ages and cultures together. The first paragraph mentions meeting people from other cultures, but the point is not developed with a specific example or a clear explanation of how music creates connection across age groups. The conclusion also introduces environmental harm as the main reason for disagreeing, without fully resolving the contrast with your earlier point. The response is 246 words, so it does not meet the 250-word minimum. Develop a consistent position and support it directly with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps readers identify the broad stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and the contrast between the two sides is not fully connected to your final disagreement. Some linking phrases are repetitive or awkward, such as “For example” followed immediately by “For instance,” while “in this case” and “as a result” do not always make the relationship between ideas clear. Referencing is also confusing in places, particularly “their will be many of type” and “there have older people.” Organise each paragraph around one clear point, then explain and illustrate it in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “social barrier,” “cultural people,” “litter,” and “noise pollution,” and you use some topic-specific examples such as concerts and instruments. However, the range is limited, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “eassy,” “conseart,” “croweded,” and “noice”; these errors reduce clarity. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “people of community find there way of freedom” and “heavy using instruments.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “attend a concert,” “interact with people from different backgrounds,” and “cause noise pollution.” Proofreading spelling and checking collocations would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional phrasing (“if bringing people…”) and a result clause (“as a result…”). However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence formation and basic grammar can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “music play a vital role” has subject–verb disagreement, while “they are don't tollaret” combines incompatible verb forms. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “the environment was damage” and the lower-case opening “in conclusion.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, tense, articles, and punctuation. More accurate control of straightforward sentences should come before adding complex clauses.

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