Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that music is a convenient way of engaging people and encourge people to connect regardless their age and culture. I completely agree with the fact knowing some is create gaps among us.

Firstly, it is a talk of topic that some people belive music is not playing any role to bringing people together. One possible reason is, some music is very awkwardly designed which do not have any positive massage or emotional feel on it, or maybe they representing vulgerity or unusal thing on society. As a result, people are not taking music in a positive way, especially parents incouraging their children not to hear music or watch videos.

Although, there are numerous reasons why i belive music have a great impect on our society, Firstly, on some occasion like marrige or birthday, music is a fundamental aspect. Its help people to break the shyness and give them a instant joy and confidence. Consequently, people socially connect with new people and have a great time.

In addition, Not only in our society but also globally, music have a unquestionable Impect.

In this modern generatation, people use social media, Youtube, facebook all arounf the world.

Some type of local music from different many location are tending on siocial media even though they do not know the meaning. For instance Coke Studio is playing a huge role to speread music from verious place and traditions. Therefore, people are listening those music and knowing about the history behind it. This is how globally people are connecting regardless their tradition age or language. breaking the barrier.

In conclusion, consdering the factor discussed above, i believe some type of music is hermful for our society and nation is right but music has a emotioanal feeling which is positive and help people to engage regardless their cultures.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that music can connect people across cultures and ages, and the conclusion acknowledges that some music may also have negative effects. The examples of music at weddings and birthdays, and of Coke Studio reaching international audiences, are relevant and help address the question. However, the discussion is uneven. The opening claim that music creates gaps is unclear and conflicts with your stated agreement, while the paragraph about music’s negative influence is not fully connected to the question of bringing people together. Develop the main reasons more fully—for example, explain how shared dancing or discovering another culture’s music builds connection—and make the relationship between your concession and overall position explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has recognisable paragraphs for an introduction, contrasting points, supporting examples, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” help signal the structure. However, progression is not consistently clear: the first body paragraph begins by discussing people who disagree, then gives reasons music may be harmful, without clearly linking this to your own argument. The transition “Although” does not lead into a clearly contrasting clause, and “This is how globally people are connecting… breaking the barrier” is awkwardly connected to the preceding explanation. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s purpose, and make references such as “those music” and “the factor discussed above” clearer and more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “fundamental aspect,” “emotional feeling,” “socially connect,” and “breaking the barrier.” These choices show an effort to discuss both social events and international cultural exchange. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word combinations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause, as in “impect,” “vulgerity,” “tending on siocial media,” and “regardless their tradition age or language.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “knowing some is create gaps,” which obscures your intended meaning. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations, such as “bring people together,” “gain confidence,” and “regardless of age or cultural background.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, including “Although, there are numerous reasons…” and the sentence beginning “Not only in our society but also globally…”. This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “music have” should be “music has,” “Its help” should be “It helps,” and “people are listening those music” needs a different grammatical pattern. The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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