Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In contemparary society music play a crucial role. I belived that music is the unique thing by which we can bring the people of diverse culture together.

Music is a unique or universal language by which we can associate with peoples of distinct culture. Moreover, music is a strong attraction and it attract all peoples of different ages, music shares information which encourage the peoples to precieve the prespective of each other, furthermore music is played on different festivals such as international festivals, concerts in which peoples of various culture comes together and try to unerstand the emotions and feelings For instance: particularly pakistani music could attract international peoples to appreciate the culture of pakistan.

On the other hand, music also create family bonding by allowing the members of family to enjoy the music collectively, in addition it could enable people to share experience, old people shares experience with young people, Music also reduce generation gap it could create oportunity for all ages group.

In essence, it helps to comprehend the traditional culture, and also describes outlook of peoples

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You clearly agree that music can connect people across cultures and generations, and you give relevant reasons: it can communicate emotions, bring people together at festivals, and create family bonding. The example of Pakistani music attracting international listeners also supports your cultural point. However, the position and supporting ideas remain brief and are not developed with specific explanation; for instance, you mention that music reduces the generation gap but do not show how this happens. The conclusion is also very short and does not fully restate your view. The response is 179 words, so it does not meet the 250-word minimum. Develop each main reason with explanation and a concrete example, and make your conclusion more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall shape: an opening statement, points about cultural connection, a paragraph on family and age groups, and a brief concluding sentence. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “On the other hand,” and “In essence” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several points are joined into long sentences, and the contrast signalled by “On the other hand” is unclear when the next point also supports your position. Some references, such as “it” and “which,” do not always make the intended idea clear. Use separate sentences for distinct reasons, organise one main idea per paragraph, and choose linking phrases that accurately show the relationship between points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “universal language,” “diverse culture,” “generation gap,” and “traditional culture.” These phrases show an attempt to discuss both cultural and age-related connections. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or repetitive, including repeated use of “peoples,” “music shares information,” and “music is a strong attraction.” Spelling errors such as “contemparary,” “belived,” and “prespective” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and vary repeated words; for example, explain that music “communicates emotions” or “appeals to listeners of all ages.” Proofreading for spelling and choosing precise expressions would make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas using longer structures, including “by allowing the members of family to enjoy the music collectively,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur in subject–verb agreement and verb forms: “music play,” “it attract,” “music also create,” and “old people shares” should use correctly matched verbs. Articles and plural forms are also often missing or inaccurate, as in “the members of family” and “all ages group.” Several sentences run together, particularly the long sentence beginning “Moreover, music is a strong attraction,” making punctuation and sentence boundaries difficult to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses. Check agreement, articles, plurals, and full stops during revision.

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